Conversation at Charminar
We've been to the Charminar several times now (video postings to come), and every time people ask if they can take pictures with us, or we see them sneaking pictures. I've gotten used to it, but I still get a bit nervous every time we go. I'm mostly just uncomfortable with the constant begging (they will put their hands on you and tug on your clothes) and people following us around trying to sell their wares. One visit, however, while we were waiting for our car, I had a little chat with a couple of boys trying to sell sunglasses. Their English was amazingly good, especially for that part of the city, and they were very curious about my face. Boys: Are you from America? Me: yes. [still trying to ignore them] Boys: Do you speak English? Me: yes. [finally stopped to wait for our car; there was no where for me to go] Boys: Do you speak French? Me: no. Boys: Italian? Me: no. Boys: German? Me: no, only English [by this time, I'm laughing] Boys: Why is your face red? Me [pointing to the sun]: It's very hot here for me! Boys: But your face is so red! Me: I'm just very hot! Woman passing on street looks at me curiously. I see the boys pointing to the sun and at my face, apparently explaining to her why I'm so red. This of course, makes me blush, and subsequently, I get redder. Our car arrives, so we begin climbing in. Boys: You are very pretty. Me: Thank you. We wave goodbye to them from the car.
On our next trip to the Charminar, I met up with one of the same boys again, and he remembered me! This was quite amazing to me, because there are thousands upon thousands of people at this little junction in the city. It just goes to show how few Americans they see there. He offered to sell me sunglasses again, but seeing I was already wearing them, tried to sell them to Ryan instead. We should have just bought a pair from him. After all, he did say I was pretty.
Book Review: The Last Sin Eater
The sin eater was a person who was paid a fee or given food to take upon himself the moral trespasses of the deceased and their consequences in the afterlife. Sin eaters were common in the early nineteenth century in England, the Lowlands of Scotland, and the Welsh border district. This custom was carried over by immigrants to the Amercias and practiced in remote areas of the Appalachian Mountains. This is a purely fictional story of one such person.
Enjoy!
Bangles!
And here's a here's an even better hint at the extent of the bangles:
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This is just one little alley off of the main road, a road which is filled with alleys like this and more stores like this, all full of bangles. (I told Ryan he should have talked to that kid more; he seemed so excited to be on camera!)
Book Review: The Wind in the Willows
Culture Shock, episode 3
Perhaps the following isn't really a "shock" per se, but it certainly shows some cultural differences. Ryan has been interviewing potential employees for a position in his team, and brought the resumes home to review. And I, being the interested (I prefer not to use the term "nosy", although I know others have used it to describe me) woman that I am, decided to browse through at my leisure. Some of the hobbies listed surprised me, like "partying" for example. But my absolute favorite needed further explanation.
When Ryan decided to ask an Indian co-worker to tell him what it meant, the answer was simply that the candidate had a lot of pets. When the co-worker asked about the inquiry, Ryan explained that it meant something very different in the States and it's not something you'd put on a resume!
Hobbies: heavy petting
Sankranti
Today is also a holiday in India, the national festival of Sankranti. You can read about it more here. What we found fun about the day, however, (besides Ryan getting the day off) were the kites that could be seen flying high all around the city (Sankranti is also celebrated as Kite Flying Day). They were up so high that at first I wasn't sure if they were kites or birds. I spent some time watching a man on the rooftop across from us while he was flying his kite. He seemed very skilled at it. Here are a couple pics. They aren't the best, but like I said, the kites were so high, it was hard to capture them on the camera!
Happy Birthday to Me!
Today is my birthday and because of that, I want to copy a letter that was written to me 27 years ago, on the night that I was born. It's just so sweet and is more of a testament to my amazing family than anything. It is dated and postmarked January 14, 1982.
Dearest Amy Elizabeth,
How we love you and we haven't even met you yet! Your dad's call of one half hour ago made us very happy - so happy I couldn't sleep so decided to write you your first letter. But I should introduce the "we" I spoke about. I'm your grandfather and have been itching for your coming for months - even years. Your grandmother with whom I live was also excited. While your dad described in some detail ofyour arrival, grandma went to the bathroom, went back to bed and started to burp - you will do this to... but after you eat - not in the middle of the night as grandma does. Gross, eh? But before you judge her to harshly, I should tell you what she was doing while you were coming. She was praying for you and your mother. I wish I had been praying, but instead I was reading my Shopsmith magazine at 12:05 AM. Thanks for coming!
I know you haven't had time to look around much, so let me tell you about a few people you will get to know. The most important person in your life - at least for now - is your mother. She's the one who will hold you close and talk the tenderest to you even though you caused great pain when you were born. When you are able ot focus your eyes you will discover she is a beautiful mama. But all babies think their mothers are beautiful. Even though new mothers don't always have their hair fixed and don't have make-up they are beautiful in their own special way. But your mother is especially beautiful. Lots of people think she is beautiful. But more important - she is a beautiful person - probably due to her heritage. Which leads me to another great lady, your maternal grandmother (your mother's mother). She talks a lot, but she won't tell you what makes her great. I'll tell you one thing and you can ask your mother to fill you in on dozens of reasons why she is a real standout. She is so unselfish! For years, she gave up her home one night a week to people who needed help of a friendly family.... You will also get to know another grandfather, your mother's father. you will get to know him through the stories your mother and dad will tell you. He was more than a husband to your grandmother, he was a real partner in his selflessness and leadership in that family that gave your mother such an outstanding heritage. Grandma Dorothy will help your mother when you come home from the hospital. She will hold you, sing to you, walk with you, clean, cook, and she will think she's having fun -- just because of you. I can't explain it, but I know it's true. It's something like the relationship I had with your dad, Uncle Checker and Aunt Laurie. They were in my way a lot, but somehow I loved it. Some time when I'm holding you, I'll tell you about some of those times. I only exaggerate slightly - it's called artists' license. You have a lot more aunts and uncles who you'll want to know about, but I never write a letter this long because of arthritis in my hand. But I just had to tell you about heritage. Your dad is a special guy, too. He's so ambitious, you will have to keep your feminine "wiles" working to extract some of this time - but do it and don't let him postpone that time you spend together. I did some, but now I wish I had done much more. That's part of getting your proper heritage, but "wiles" comes in the genes - and having a mother like yours, you will have an extraordinary supply of feminitiy and "wiles"!
You will hear a wide variety of descriptions as to the kind of world you are coming into. Some will describe the world and their own families as utter chaos and devastation and I could fill this page with philosophy on looking on the bright side of things, but all that can be summarized in a book written for all those who want the best life and death has to offer. Here are a few excerpts:
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (Get to know him.)
"But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst." Jesus also said, "He that cometh to me shall never hunger..."
And when you hear bad things, know that He is in control. He said, "Let not your heart be troubled..."
He said that came so that we could have an abundant life. If I remember correctly, He didn't say except in the last days when things are tough. It's hard to believe that you, Amy, will be tempted, but you will be. Listen to this then: "God is faithful who whill not suffer you to be tempted alove that ye are able." Isn't that good!
God says a lot about Peace which you will want to learn especially in the tough times (to be peaceful).
Grandma and I thank God for you!!
Love,
Grandpa
Hot Blog Posts of 2008!
As has become my tradition at the end of the year, it is time for some shameless self-promotion! So here is my list of my favorite blog posts of 2008:
I’m an adult and can do as I want! (Not really) - yay for a home leave this February so I can pick up some of these babies!
Worry Wart - ahhh... sweet childhood memories
Why post? - this is still a good reminder for me when I ask myself why I bother.
My life in India? - it's funny to see how this is playing out and how my goals have changed. I'm still working on most of these things (or still plan to!), but I've added a few as well: studying for the GRE, learning Hindi, and relearning Spanish.
And my favorite posts on actually being in India: The Sum of all Impressions, Culture Shock, episode 1, and Fear and Safety.
Merry Christmas!
Because Ryan and I are away from our families this Christmas, I've been doing my best to make it extra-special. This has been a bit of a challenge as Christmas does not seem to be nearly as big a holiday in India as in the US. So here are some of the ideas we've had for making it feel like Christmas, as well as what we'll be doing to celebrate.
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This is our Christmas Ficus!
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Some of the lights we bought were actually called "Diwali Lights", but they still work well! It definitely helped make the place feel more festive.
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I've been doing some baking to make sure we get the traditional sugar rush over the holidays. This is our Christmas trifle. Unfortunately, I don't have my trifle dish, so it looks a little sad in the Tupperware. Plus, I have not seen any berries anywhere, so it's just made with jam.
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I'm also baking some Christmas cupcakes, which Ryan and I will decorate together tonight. (I couldn't find thee necessary ingredients for cookies, so cupcakes it is!) The candies there are like M&Ms, and I just picked out the Christmasy colors (and ate the rest!).
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And finally, here's our festive living room. We even have a fruit cake! (Ryan thought he was buying a chocolate cake, and was apologetic when he found out the truth. I think it's OK though because when I think of fruit cake, I think of Christmas!)
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So, for Ryan's sake, since he let me plan our festivities and has not yet seen what we'll be up to, here is our schedule for the next several days:
Christmas Eve
Decorate Christmas cupcakes
Watch Christmas movie(s)*
Christmas Day
Read Luke 2
Open gifts
Make snowflakes and Santas
Talk to families online
Read a Christmas story
Watch Christmas movie(s)
Friday
Dinner at our favorite restaurant!
Read a Christmas story
Watch Christmas movie(s)
Sunday
Church
Make resolutions
Read a Christmas story
Watch Christmas movie(s)
*Choices of Christmas movies: Elf Love Actually Four Christmases White Christmas The Muppet Christmas Carol Miracle on 34th Street It's a Wonderful Life A Christmas Story A Charlie Brown Christmas
Book Review: 1984
I have just finished the second book off my Summer Reading List and want to share some of my thoughts from reading it. As with my book review of To Kill a Mockingbird, please note that I have not done any research on this book (although I know it’s been written about by many people) so the observations below are probably very old hat by now. So pardon my naivety. Also, spoilers.
I just finished reading the next book on my Summer Reading List: 1984 by George Orwell; I must admit to being slightly disturbed by the end, but I'm sure that's the point. The book is separated into three distinct chapters, or acts. In the first act, nothing happened, and everything happened. I could have stopped there and been familiar with the whole book. The second act made me happy. It made me feel like there could be a good ending: that love would conquer all, that the Brotherhood would overtake the Party and Big Brother. But then came the third act. I read all of the third act this morning because I couldn't put the book down. It was enthralling, but not in a good way. Everything that act one had said would happen, happened, only with excruciating detail.
Winston Smith is a member of the Outer Party, and therefore above the "Proles", but does not have so much power as the members of the Inner Party. He knows his every movement is watched, every facial tick examined, and every syllable he utters is overheard. This isn't because he is special. It's just how it is. And he begins to hate it. He is intelligent enough to know that the Party is re-inventing the past. It is telling everyone what to think and the people who question the Party are "vaporized".
The book, especially the first and third acts, is very thought-provoking. It questions the nature of reality and what makes the past true. We study history, and for the most part, we believe what we are told. We are sure that some scientist out there somewhere can provide the evidence we need to know for sure, and that is enough. We read about current events, and again, believe that the events are actually happening. But in 1984, the past and the present cannot be taken at the word of a newspaper or book. "Orthodoxy is unconsciousness."
The majority of the book is concerned with how the Party achieves the unconsciousness of the masses. But Winston wonders over and over again why. Why does the Party do what it does to ensure that it is never wrong by altering the past? And why does the Party keep the State constantly at war? He does finally get the answer: power. The Inner Party members are only concerned with power. Not even the luxury that power brings, just power in itself. By being Inner Party members, they have achieved a sort of immortality. If the Party is all-knowing, never wrong, and will last forever, and they are members of it, then they themselves are immortal. The Party's aims are to destroy all literature, art, science, even to abolish everyone's belief in God. In doing so, they are taking away all ways that people try to become immortal, or leave some kind of legacy behind. Even procreation will be turned into a once-per -year duty, and the resulting children will be taken away immediately. There is no way to leave a bit of legacy behind, unless through the Party. And even this is only reserved for Party members.
In the beginning Winston still has hope. At one point he says of the Party, "They could not alter your feelings; for that matter, you could not alter them yourself, even if you wanted to." But he finds in the end that he was wrong. There is no hope.
Book Review: Agatha Raisin Mysteries
I have just finished reading my ninth book in the past month. This is not a great accomplishment as they were all frivolous little mysteries in the same series. It is the Agatha Raisin series by M. C. Beaton. (She also writes the Hamish MacBeth series, of which I have posted about before.) My enjoyment of the series is mostly due to the characters, who are very real, flawed, funny, and just plain empathizable -- not sure if that's a word (if it's not, I'm coining it now--that's my way of cheating the system). Enhancing my enjoyment all the more was reading those nine books in order, thereby following the characters' progress in that time. The ones I read were: Agatha Raisin and the Wellspring of Death Agatha Raisin and the Wizard of Evesham Agatha Raisin and the Witch of Wyckhadden Agatha Raisin and the Love from Hell Agatha Raisin and the Day the Floods Came Agatha Raisin and the Case of the Curious Curate Agatha Raisin and the Haunted House The Deadly Dance: An Agatha Raisin Mystery The Perfect Paragon: An Agatha Raisin Mystery
The last two were my favorites of them all, which makes me want to move right on to the next one, Love, Lies, and Liquor! I won't though. I must continue my Summer Reading List!
On the plus side (the downside being that I've taken such a long break from my aforementioned Summer Reading List), those nine books helped me increase the number of books I've read this year, as opposed to last year, by nine exactly! See? If it hadn't been for reading them, I would have felt like I didn't increase productivity at all this year. And isn't it all about increasing productivity?
The Bathroom Discovery
Ryan and I have rented a beautiful apartment in Banjara Hills, which is a very nice part of Hyderabad. Once we saw this place, nothing else would do (as you will remember from The Sum of All Impressions). I love it because it's bright and cheery during the day, and cozy at night. The place is probably a too much room for us, and currently we are just living in the main room (living room/dining room) and the master bedroom. Even that space is more than we are used to! All in all, there are three bedrooms and three and a half bathrooms, a kitchen, two balconies, one large main room (as previously mentioned) and a den. There is also a small room off the kitchen. It's a utility room and that's where we put our washer/dryer. One day, Ryan and I were exploring our apartment (that's right, exploring it!) and we got to the utility room. It's like a balcony because it's technically outside, but it's mostly walled in so you don't really feel outside. Then, for the first time we noticed yet another door off the utility room. Curious, we thought we should check it out, however, opening doors that lead to dark rooms is not something I am usually prone to do! So Ryan slowly turned the lever and pushed open the door. And this is what we found:
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It's our servant's bathroom! We had no idea we even had one, but there it was! Don't worry though. I know I told any visitors that they could stay in our servants' quarters, but we won't make you use it (unless you want to...)!
Book Review: To Kill a Mockingbird
I have just finished the first book off my Summer Reading List* and want to share some of my thoughts from reading it. Please note that I have not done any research on this book (although I know it's been written about by many people) so the observations below are probably very old hat by now. So pardon my naivety. Also, spoilers. "Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird," says Atticus to his son, Jem, upon giving him and his sister, Scout, air-rifles. Miss Maudie, Scout and Jem's kind neighbor, agrees, "Your father's right... Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." Hence the title of the famous 1960 novel by Harper Lee.
The story unfolds with Scout remembering when Jem's arm was broken when he was 13 and she only nine. That climactic moment does not happen until the end of the story, however. First we hear about Dill, Scout and Jem's childhood friend; Boo Radley, the neighborhood hermit who Dill, Scout and Jem obsess over for several summers; and Tom Robinson, the black man accused of raping a white girl and the man whom Atticus is charged with defending.
Scout is very young during the Robinson case, but she takes it all in even if she doesn't always understand. The thing about Scout is that she's been taught since she was very young that in order to fully understand, you have to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Atticus is very good about this, and it's clear that it's something he is trying to pass on to his two children. "Jem," he says after a particularly nasty incident, "See if you can stand in Bob Ewell's shoes a minute. I destroyed his last shred of credibility at that trial, if he had any to begin with. The man had to have some kind of comeback, his kind always does. So if spitting in my face and threatening me saved Mayella Ewell [the girl who claimed to have been raped] one extra beating, that's something I'll gladly take. He had to take it out on somebody and I'd rather it be me than that houseful of children out there. You understand?"
There are other adult role models for Jem and Scout who also exemplify the art of perspective. Calpurnia, when she takes the children to her own church and they hear her speaking differently than she does at home, is able to explain the situation from her fellow church-goers point-of-view. "It's not necessary to tell all you know. It's not ladylike - in the second place, folks don't like to have somebody around knowin' more than they do. It aggravates 'em. You're not gonna change any of them by talkin' right, they've got to want to learn themselves, and when they don't want to learn there's nothing you can do but keep your mouth shut or talk their language."
Since the book is written from Scout's perspective, we, as the reader, often understand things that she does not. But we can see her thought process and throughout the book she begins to learn from her father's wise words. For example, as she is listening to the testimonies of Mayella Ewell and Tom Robinson, she says, "it came to me that Mayella Ewell must have been the loneliest person in the world... Tom Robinson was probably the only person who was ever decent to her." In trying to see the case from Mayella's perspective, she begins to understand the reasoning behind Mayella's actions. As I said earlier, however, she is still very young at this point, but she is learning.
At the very end, she has the opportunity to stand almost literally in someone else's shoes by seeing her town from Boo Radley's porch, and in doing so she watches the events from the years gone by from his perspective. And understanding finally dawns. "Atticus was right. One time he said you never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them. Just standing on the Radley porch was enough." She walks away from that porch knowing in that moment, she had learned one of the most important lessons of growing up. "[T]here wasn't much else left for us to learn, except possibly algebra."
Algebra may be hard, but seeing life from a perspective besides your own is a skill that may take a lifetime or more. In fact, many people never do and are never able to fully understand. The fullest understanding of anything - life, love, grief - only comes when you are able to see it through another's eyes, or as Atticus says, walk in their shoes.
*Actually, I finished it a while ago and kept forgetting to put up this post!
Let it snow!
Oh the weather outside is frightful, (frightfully hot)But the fire is so delightful, (on the screen*) And since we've no place to go, (cuz of security threats) Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! It doesn't show signs of stopping, (the heat is neverending) And I've bought some corn for popping, (that we do have!) The lights are turned way down low, (cuz of power outages) Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! When we finally kiss goodnight, (but not in public!) How I'll hate going out in the storm! (it's sunny here) But if you'll really hold me tight, (but not in public!) All the way home I'll be warm. (no kidding) The fire is slowly dying, (on the screen) And, my dear, we're still good-bying, (we're alone for Christmas!) But as long as you love me so, (I know you all do) Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
*I have a picture of the yule log on my computer screen to give the illusion of a fireplace! It doesn't really work.
Snoopy
I've heard more than one Indian refer to Hugo as "Snoopy" as they slowly back away from him in fear. I suppose that since so many dogs in the city are wild, people are just not used to interacting with friendly pets. And Hugo is overly friendly. He even decided to bark when I wouldn't let him play with the water-delivery men. Their faces were horrified as they asked, "What was that?!" I answered, "A dog?" Did they really not recognize a bark? Recently he's taken to climbing on the back of the furniture, and this seems to especially startle people who are visiting our house. Below are some of the terrifying images that you might face when you first walk through our front door.
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Watch out! He's coming for you!
Safety and Security
On the topic of safety, several of my online accounts have been hacked into within the past two days. So needless to say, I'm not feeling very safe or secure.
Fear and Safety
For those of you out there who have wondered, Ryan and I live in Hyderabad, which is about 8 hours away from Mumbai, where the attacks were. For all our friends in the Northeast, it's about the same distance from Bridgeport, CT to Buffalo, NY. I'll admit to looking that up after we heard about the attacks. I wanted to know what kind of distance separated me from all this horror. I was not comforted; I wanted it to be a lot farther. I guess the thing that gets to me is that these gunmen were seeking out Americans and Britons. And believe me, from living here, I know how much we stick out! All these events have got me thinking about racism and persecution. As a white person, growing up in suburban Connecticut, I don't think I've ever been on the receiving end of it. On the one hand, it's probably good for us, to know how it feels to be afraid because of the color of your skin. But on the other hand, no one should ever have to feel this way.
I have been trying to tell myself that we are safer here in Hyderabad than the people were in Mumbai. I say, "Mumbai was the business capital of India, and therefore more of a target. It is a peninsula and easily accessible via water." And while those things may be true, it doesn't really assure anything. And I've been imagining what those people were going through, when they were asked at gun point, where they were from.
I call myself a Christian, and yet I still have so much fear in my life. I've always been like that, and kidded about it often on this blog, but this fear is so much more real than ever before. I guess it comes down to a matter of trust. I'm supposed to believe in God, and in His will for my life. But it is so hard for me to surrender my own control and trust in His. Every time I read the Psalms, I'm always amazed at David's trust in God. He was being pursued, his very life was being hunted. And yet at the end of so many of his psalms, he says "but I will trust in your unfailing love". It's like he was saying, "Despite all the men chasing after me, wanting me dead, I will still trust in God, because His love for me does not fail." I wish I could trust like that. It's definitely something I need to work on, not just so that I can have some sort of peace in the rest of our time here in India, but for the rest of my life, however long that may be.
All this to say that my thoughts and prayers are with those affected by the tragedy in Mumbai, as well as with this nation, that it may someday be at peace.