On Becoming

With eyes full of stars, a heart of joy,
And simple life, full of affection.
Content to just be who you are!
And that has been perfection.

But now you are becoming more,
No longer gazing at the skies,
Maturing from the child you were.
And tears, not stars, now fill your eyes.

You are growing into who you will be,
Not losing who you were before.
Becoming is not a loss, but a gain:
You are who you were, just so much more.

You wonder and worry about who you will be,
And mourn what you are succumbing.
May your eyes fill back with stars when you realize
The radiant, true self you are becoming.

What I've Learned as Director of Children's Ministry: The Interruptions are the Worship.

Photo by Beth Maree. Note my son with his Spiderman.

Not pictured: our resident 1-year-old, Tess, who always crawls towards the altar!

Something kind of beautiful happens at my church every Sunday: many of the kids sit either in the front or near the front of the sanctuary.

If you’ve gone to church at all, you know this is not the norm. Kids sit in the back. Parents of kids sit in the back with them.

It is reasonable that this happens: it’s convenient to leave if you need to; it’s possibly less disruptive to others; if a mother has to nurse, it’s more private. This all makes sense. And there is an argument that children do need to be taught to sit and listen. The problem is when parents and kids feel relegated to the back as if they aren’t welcome to sit wherever they want. And frankly, kids pay better attention when they are up close anyway!

Oftentimes during church, my son (8) is playing with his stuffed animals (that he never fails to bring). Sometimes it bugs me and I feel like my worship is interrupted by his play. I literally have to work through it in my head: what would Jesus say or do if he was here?

Usually when I ask this question, I have to work out the answer based on what I know about Jesus’s character. But this is one of those rare times we actually have a verse that answers the question!

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Matthew 19:14)

Perhaps this verse is used so much for Children’s Ministry that it’s lost its potency, but just think about it. It was so important to Jesus and so imprinted on the minds of the early disciples that it makes it into two different gospel accounts! Jesus cares about little children. He wants them to be up front near him. He even goes so far to say that theirs is the kingdom of heaven!

Henri Nouwen says:

“I have always been complaining that my work was constantly interrupted; then I realized that the interruptions were my work.”

I feel this quote deeply. But I think you can also substitute “work” for “worship” and it is still true. (N.B. You could also argue that our work is a type of worship, but that’s a post for another day.)

I have always been complaining that my [worship] was constantly interrupted; then I realized that the interruptions were my [worship].

So when my son is playing, instead of being annoyed at the interruption, I remember that I should prioritize play in the presence of Jesus; that I should delight in my son’s play as an act of worship; that I should remember that the kids are the ministry and future of the church. Shouldn’t they feel as welcomed as any adults?

My daughter (11) recently said to me that she wished we had church more than once a week, because she feels so at home there. As a mother and as a director of Children’s Ministries, I was delighted. That is how church should feel: like home.

What would churches look like if we all delighted in the interruptions of children? If we prioritized play in our own lives? If we let the kids sit up front? If we laughed, instead of scorned, at their antics? If we got to know them and heard their stories and what’s on their hearts?

Maybe church would feel more like home to all of us.

What I've Learned as Director of Children's Ministry

I have been thinking for a while of blogging more about my role as Children’s Ministry Director at my church, so today I am writing about something that has been on my mind for a while. In fact, a few days ago, I prayed that God would give me “eyes to see the invisible and ears to hear what people are really saying.” It struck me as very a very powerful image that I prayed that prayer and then immediately walked out of the main sanctuary back to my job with the kids. So here is the first installment of what I’ve learned as Director of Children’s Ministry.

I am an advocate for the invisible: kids in the church.

One of my goals since I began this job has been to make our children in the church visible. I highlight them in the service as often as I can. I bring other people back into the classrooms as much as I can. I need these children to know that they are seen by other members of the church, and by extension, Jesus himself. I tell my youth volunteers that even if they are struggling with their own beliefs (as they should at their age!), they are still representing Jesus to these little ones. But I think everyone in the church should also hear this message: You are representing Jesus to those around you, especially the children. If the children feel loved and seen by you, they will feel loved and seen by Jesus. Because that’s what Jesus does. And by his grace and favor, he uses His church to do it.

I am an advocate for the invisible servants of the church: children’s ministry volunteers.

I want my volunteers to know that this is a high calling and that they are seen by me (I try to bring lots of gifts to prove it!) and by God. It isn’t something to dread, but actually an opportunity to learn and to be blessed. But it’s not the kind of church volunteering that will bring accolades or compliments (this isn’t the worship team!*). It is almost an invisible task and the blessings you will receive will be on the inside and yours alone. Because you will receive blessing from being with the kids. You will be amazed by their questions, their sweetness, and their sheer energy! You will be reminded of your youth. You may even wish that more people had reached out to you in your own youth, and then you’ll realize that that is exactly what you are doing for these kids. And they will remember. That in itself is a burden and blessing. And all this doesn’t even consider what you will learn from the lessons themselves. Lest you think these lessons are only for children, they are not. They are timeless for a reason. 

I am doing the work of Jesus: seeing the invisible and helping others to see them, too. 

I remind myself of this a lot, especially when I struggle with feeling invisible. But when I am doing my job for God’s glory, it is incredibly rewarding and humbling. When I can lift up others who feel invisible, I am almost brought to my knees in praise and adoration: what a gift that God invites me in to this good work! If I can help others to see that God sees them and invites them in as well, then I will have done my job.

*I absolutely love our worship team! My point is children’s ministry is not in front of the whole church (as are many other behind-the-scenes jobs… “like the person running sound”, points out my husband…)

Ash Wednesday in the Nursery*

Today for my church’s Ash Wednesday service, I sat in the nursery with four little faces looking up at me, asking me to read the pile of books they had chosen. Book by book, the pile lessened, and yet they still sat at my feet and listened. Afterwards, several people said “thank you” or “I’m sorry” that I had to miss the actual service to be in the nursery. And I murmured back the appropriate response. But in my heart I knew God was in the nursery this morning.

I’ll be honest with you. Sometimes children’s ministry doesn’t feel exciting. I’ve been there, sweating and exhausted, wondering if I’m making any sort of headway or planting any seed in these children’s lives. I tell myself at least I’m here for the parents, so they can be in “big church” and their children are safe and cared for. And I sort of trust God that this is good work, after all, we know Jesus loved children and cared for them deeply. But it’s all just words, because sometimes it feels like a chore.

But God is in the nursery.

God’s economy is different than ours. The first shall be last; the last shall be made first. Seek first God’s kingdom, not money, not power. The widow’s offering of almost nothing was more valuable than a fortune. God himself came to earth, not as a king, but as a baby. God’s economy is different than ours. 

Children’s ministry might feel small, it might even feel pointless, it might even feel boring. But it matters to God. God’s economy is different than ours. 

So if you spend your morning caring for even one small child... that is what brings God glory. And I know God was in our nursery this morning.

*originally written February 26, 2020

Dear parents: Jesus is enough.

I wrote this letter for our church’s newsletter about a year ago because we were in need of teachers for our Sunday School classes. I reread it recently and realized these words need to be repeated over and over, so I thought I would post this here as well. It is a good reminder for myself as a Christian parent, too! And if you are part of a church body, consider volunteering in children’s ministry. I promise, you will be both blessed and a blessing.

I have had the privilege, in recent months, to teach our oldest class (grades 4-6) a few times, and what a unique and wonderful thing it is! I am always intimidated, because these kids know a lot. And they are smart! And honestly, I’m not that fun a teacher (it’s ok, I know what my strengths are!). So I’m always nervous. But when I leave, I am exhilarated! Because they already know a lot about the Bible and they are so smart, the discussions are deep and interesting! And that is why I call it a privilege. 

I found this article recently and it encouraged me so much, especially in regards to our older kids: 

“What every teen knows, however, is that the church is not cool. The good news is that the church does not have to be cool to be relevant. What the church has is Jesus, and he is enough. (Emphasis added) He is what differentiates the church from every other organization. He’s why the church matters. If the church matters because Jesus matters, then what youth ministries need more of are not entertaining activities but conversations about Jesus.” (Jen Bradbury, “Sticky faith: What keeps kids connected to church?”)

When I read that, I think my heart skipped a beat! That is the benefit of a small class for our preteens: we can have deep discussions. And we need teachers and a curriculum to direct those discussions to Jesus. And He is enough. 

One of the things I love about our current curriculum (The Gospel Project) is the weekly “Christ Connection”. Not only are we taking over three years to study the entire Bible, every week we bring it back to Christ. We have the curriculum part of the equation. 

Honestly, when I started writing this letter to you, I meant it only as an encouragement that we are doing what needs to be done. That you, as parents, are doing what needs to be done. You are teaching Jesus, and He is enough. But now I’m realizing we are still missing the second part of the equation: this class needs more teachers. Please pray about this and consider this unique and wonderful opportunity. 

The Free Gift

Some of the little kids I get to teach at church on Sundays. I love them!

In my job, I get to teach many different age groups about Jesus. It’s pretty wonderful, actually. But it does come with a fair share of frustration. It’s one of the few places I feel completely free to share about Jesus! I guess I like to hope that when I’m sharing something I am passionate about and has been so life-changing, that I would have an appreciative and receptive audience, right?

Well, my audience are kids. So usually they are being silly, and not sitting down, and asking when snack is, and poking their friends, and taking off their shoes, and picking their nose. 

So I like to set up this scenario for them:

What if you did something really bad and your mom and dad found out about it? Even if you said you were sorry and genuinely felt bad, they might still give you a punishment, right? Like make you sit in time out, or go to your room, or take away TV or video games. But what if I knew what you did and knew that you’d be punished, but I loved you so much that I didn’t want you to have to take your punishment, so I decided to come over and take your punishment for you? I’d say, “Let me sit here in time out and you go back to playing.” Or “I’ll sit here in your room for you, so you can ride your bike.” What would you say to that? Would you be so happy? Would you say “thank you!”? Would you love me so much for what I did?

Usually at this point in the story, the kids are looking at me in wonder, fully engrossed, fingers out of noses, and then get so excited and yell and maybe even jump up and tell me how good that sounds and that’d be great and even about their last punishments that they wish that had happened for!

That’s when I can drop the lesson on them. “Well, that’s what Jesus did for us! The Bible says that the punishment for sinning is death [Romans 6:23] but even while we were still sinning, Jesus died for us! [Romans 5:8] He came to earth as a little baby and when he grew up, he died in our place. Everybody sins, but if you know Jesus, he takes our punishment for us. All you have to do is accept this amazing gift!”

In my experience, this story never fails.

That is until about 4th grade.

The last time I taught in 4th grade, I decided to try this hypothetical again. I really do think it’s helpful at any age (hey, it still helps me to understand and appreciate just a little bit of what happened on that cross). But the response I got was markedly different.

When I got to the end and asked my questions: What would you say to that? Would you be so happy? Would you say “thank you!”? Would you love me so much for what I did? The responses were surprisingly solemn. We went around the room and each child said something along the lines of “Well, that wouldn’t be fair. Even if you offered to do that, I’d still take the punishment because I’m the one who did something bad so I should take the punishment.”

Honestly, I was stunned. I asked myself what happens in a child’s brain between preschool and 4th grade. Even before I did a quick Google search, I had guessed the answer: the development of empathy and personal responsibility. The irony is that these are good things! We want our children to be empathetic and take personal responsibility! But these are also the things that get in the way of accepting the free gift that Jesus offers.

Those 4th graders that day were thinking about me, and realizing that they needed to take responsibility. It shouldn’t be me taking the punishment, it should be them!

This is one of the reasons (and there are others, I think) why I think we are called to be like little children. God wants us to accept His good gifts to us, and little children are ready and willing to do so. They completely understand why someone would love them so much, they would take their punishment for them. They cheer when someone even talks about taking their punishment for them. 

This is why being called to be like a little child as an adult is so important. We’ve already learned (hopefully!) empathy and personal responsibility, but we are marrying it with the whole-hearted acceptance of the free gift of grace. Honestly, it’s hard to do.

I have decided to amend the story next time I teach the older kids. I can start to work in the ideas of confession and repentance, as well, and talk about the new creations we are when we accept what Jesus offers. I’m thankful for their more mature minds and complex thinking process that can grasp more and more of what following Christ actually means (something we, as Christians, are called to do until the end) and that as children get older, we can engage them more fully on what we ourselves are learning.

But after teaching that 4th grade class that day, I have thought often about their reluctance to just accept. Most days, I think I can do it on my own. But what if I took a moment every morning and just accepted, holding my arms open in acceptance of this love pouring down on me? I don’t deserve it, but I also can’t live fully, abundantly, and in complete freedom without it. Lord Jesus, help me to be like a little child.