List of the Day (LotD): February Favorites
In February, I participated in a Lettering Challenge on Instagram about my favorites in all different categories. Here are the categories and I’ll let you figure out their matches!
Favorite:
Live Action TV Show
Board Game
Day of the Week
Animated TV Show
Hero
Villain
Flower
Video Game
Live Action Movie
Actor
Actress
Animated Movie
Dessert
Anime
Meal
Song
Hobby
Animal
Restaurant
Fruit
Vacation
Season
Holiday
Now it’s your turn! Leave your favorites in the comments.
Being Brave
“Boys are braver than girls,” my daughter announced one afternoon.
I don’t remember what I was doing, but I know my head snapped up, ready for a fight! Now, I am not a hard-core feminist but I will fight for my gender when necessary, especially when it comes to my daughter.
“Why do you say that?” I asked, coolly, as if I was only slightly interested. (Sometimes I have to reign in my reactions, so I don’t scare her away.)
“They just like to climb high and jump off things and touch bugs and stuff like that,” she said.
“And that makes them braver?” I asked. Again, I was super-cool about it.
“Well, I’m too afraid to do those things and they aren’t!”
I could see her logic, because it seems to me it’s the logic that most people use when describing brave: If I’m too afraid of something, and you do it, then you must be braver than me.
But I’m here to say FALSE.
Being brave is highly subjective. What is brave for one person might not be brave for another! The hard part about being brave is facing our fears. There is no brave without some kind of fear.
Brave is speaking up when you are terrified to speak in public.
Brave is telling your story even when you feel embarrassed by it.
Brave is continuing to love someone who has hurt you in the past and you are worried it will happen again.
Brave is breaking up with someone who is wrong for you, even though you’re afraid of being alone.
Brave is opening your home to strangers, even though you fear the unknown.
I don’t want to take away from people who speak in public and are not terrified, who tell their story and are not embarrassed, who love someone else but have never been hurt by them, who break up with the wrong person for them but don’t fear loneliness, who are hospitable to strangers but are not worried about what they will bring. Those are all good things. They just are not brave.
Brave does not come easy, so let’s not water down its meaning by crediting it to those people who do not have the accompanying fear.
So as I looked at my daughter that afternoon, I wanted to explain all this to her and somehow show her that sometimes her mom can even be brave! But there’s a problem: in order to reveal the brave, I also have to reveal the fear and insecurity behind the brave. And that’s the hard part. How do I show my daughter that I am afraid but I am doing it anyway, without also passing on that fear to her?
As I think about the brave people that I know and want to emulate, I am struck by the fact that the people who are bravest are also the people who have been the most fearful and have had to overcome it.
But I want to be careful about passing on my fears to my daughter. So as I endeavor to exhibit bravery to her, I want to only show her those fears that I have already faced. (And then someday I can admit that many of my fears, I never could face, so maybe I’m really not that brave at all.)
So we just take each moment as it comes, each little act of bravery. And take advantage of these times when we can just talk - and I can just listen without going on a diatribe.
“Those boys aren’t braver,” I explained. “They just aren’t afraid of the same things you are! You can’t be brave if you’re not a little afraid first.”
And we left it at that. For now.
List of the Day (LotD): Music Appreciation, or the qualitative assessment of music appreciation
My husband and I both love music, and yet even after over 10 years, we can never agree on what to listen to! Finally, on a recent road trip, we were able to pinpoint why: there are actually a lot of reasons to love or appreciate music (or a specific song), we just don’t agree each reason’s level of importance. After this discovery, we endeavored to make a list of all these reasons (below, in no particular order), and for next week’s LotD, we will rank them and compare, so you have something to look forward to!
Once you’ve seen the list, go and listen to your favorite song. What are the reasons you like it? And are they among those listed below? If not, let us know so we can make sure this is a complete list.
Music Appreciation:
Lyrics
Instrument/vocal quality (tone, timbre, range)
Context
Innovative
Technical ability of musicians
Evoking emotions
Ability to sing along
Catchy
Instruments used
List of the Day (LotD): Pixar Films Ranked
I’ve decided that Wednesdays will be list days, just for a little bit of mid-week fun (what is more fun than a list?). So today’s LotD is ranking Pixar movies! I don’t know about you, but this is a frequent topic of conversation in our house (cuz, you know, the important things). So below you will find all 18 movies* ranked by my husband and I. As you will see, we don’t seem to have the same taste at all!
Once you’ve seen the lists, leave a comment with your top choice, top three, or if you’re feeling ambitious (or just bored), leave your whole list and we’ll see how they compare! I’m happy to engage in a friendly debate about why my list is correct.
*We haven’t seen Coco yet, so this list could change once we do!
Amy:
The Incredibles
Cars
Brave
Inside Out
Monsters, Inc.
Finding Nemo
Finding Dory
Cars 3
Toy Story
Toy Story 2
Cars 2
Ratatouille
Toy Story 3
Monsters University
Up
Wall-E
A Bug’s Life
The Good Dinosaur
Ryan:
Wall-E
Ratatouille
Toy Story
Inside Out
Toy Story
Up
Brave
The Incredibles
Finding Nemo
Cars
Toy Story 2
Monsters, Inc.
A Bug’s Life
Cars 3
Finding Dory
Monsters University
The Good Dinosaur
Cars 2
**Bonus**
Audrey’s Top Three (my 7yo daughter):
Brave
Ratatouille
The Incredibles
Reading, Watching, Doing, Learning - January Edition
This post begins a series of monthly posts to both fulfill my resolution of posting monthly, as well as serving as a writing exercise.
What I’m Reading:
Crossroads of Twilight, Wheel of Time, book 10 (Robert Jordan)
This is an epic fantasy series of 14 books, each about 1000 pages. But this book has been a low point and I’ve been “in the middle of it” for almost a year. I love this series and am totally invested in finishing it at this point, though!Come Rain or Come Shine, Mitford series, book 13 (Jan Karon)
I’ll be honest, at this point in the series, I am listening on Audible and let myself fall asleep to it every night. I don’t miss much in this slow-moving book, but it’s sweet enough to make me think happy thoughts as I drift off to dreamland!The Songs of Jesus (Tim Keller)
The devotional I’m currently using. Very brief devotions based on a few verses in the Psalms. I wish each one were more in depth, but conversely, I picked it because they are short enough for me to actually get done every day!
What I’m Watching:
Monk, Amazon Prime
I’m embarrassed to admit this is not my first time re-watching the series. But it’s like comfort food to me, and I can work/crochet/fold laundry while it’s on in the background.The Crown, season 2, Netflix
This is a show that I can watch with Ryan. He likes the history. I like the clothes. Win-win.Superstore, season 2, Hulu
Another show to watch with Ryan. Usually he doesn’t like sitcoms (and they are my bread and butter) but at this one, we both literally LOL.
What I’m Doing:
Crochet hearts
It’s that time of year when I’m winding down with the hats and looking for other crochet projects. Tiny crochet hearts take so little time to make and I just love to put them everywhere!Kids’ birthday gifts
I usually try to include a handmade item for my children’s birthdays, and since their birthdays are only two weeks apart, this keeps me pretty busy in January. I am finishing a train flannel blanket for my 3yo son, and a My Little Pony pillow for my 6yo daughter.
What I’m Learning:
We are all broken, even if we think we have it all together. Sometimes I am horrified and embarrassed by my brokenness. Sometimes I’m proud of myself because I think I have it all together. But really I should be embarrassed when I think I have it all together, because it’s much better when I remember I’m broken. Being broken is beautiful: it’s when God can really shine through.
I wish I could put what I’m learning into a simple bullet point that completely defines exactly what I’m thinking, but really it’s more of an amorphous blur of thoughts that keep changing. I guess that’s why I’m doing this exercise.
Goals for the month:
Finish 3 more books.
Finish editing my next children’s story.
Poetry Practice:
So begins, in cold
winter, a year of goals to
blossom and bear fruit.
Telling Your Story
She worried about telling her story,
She worried it would not inspire.
She worried about sharing so much of herself,
And the honesty that it would require.
Others had gone before her
With stories so moving and fierce.
And though she knew knew better than to compare
Still she worried with eyes full of tears.
Why should I tell my story? She pleaded.
What does it have to add?
A story without a brave heroine;
A story, not moving or sad.
She thought of stories she’d heard all her life
Of characters so brave and true:
Testimonies of God’s faithfulness
And all that He’d brought them through.
All stories have a main character
The One who directs the plot.
Was she the one who guided her story?
And then she realized, she was not.
She was simply an instrument
To play His beautiful song.
He was the one to write her story,
She just had to sing along.
So she told others of her story
And though she still felt small,
She finally learned to embrace her story
Because it wasn’t her story, after all.
My Prayers for Las Vegas
This is my view as I sit cross-legged and arms outstretched in prayer for a city that has been host to such a terrible atrocity. And I am struck that two days ago, in a hotel less than a mile away, another looked down on this city, and, so filled with evil was he, that he took the lives of so many, including his own. And here I am, little old me, looking down on this city and trying to combat the darkness in my own way.
We planned this trip months ago when we learned that my husband’s promotion required him to attend a series of conferences in Las Vegas, and spouses were encouraged to attend as well. When we heard about the shooting, I thought possibly the conference would be cancelled (and secretly hoped), but no, it was still on, with increased security. So here we came to Las Vegas.
At the airport was the juxtaposition of the blaring signs and colorful advertisements, promoting anything you could possibly desire, with large black screens saying “We’ve been there for you in the good times. Thank you for standing with us in the bad. #VegasStrong” And that is the hashtag I almost used in my photo above, but something in me balked at the idea. Vegas Strong? No, the only help for Vegas, for any city, for our country, and for our world, can be found through prayer.
I do not believe it was a coincidence that brought me here, with a burning desire in my heart to pray. And not just pray, but to sit at the window and stretch out my arms, not out of the hate and evil of the man two days ago, but out of sadness and love.
Tears pour down my face as I pray for the people of this city, both visitors and residents, who have been broken by this act of evil. I pray that they will seek Jesus, the Savior and Ultimate Comforter, for healing and renewal. I pray for the people who are here that have not been broken, because they have built up such walls of hate and fear or even indifference, that God will break down those walls so that His love and transforming power can seep into their souls. I pray for the families of those who died, that they will seek and find comfort in Jesus; I pray for the wounded that they will be healed and give God the glory! I pray that the churches would rise up in love and be welcoming of every single sinner (and by that, I mean EVERYONE, including and especially myself) and say, “Come and gather with us, because we love you. Here you will find redemption and renewal through our Savior, Jesus Christ.” And finally, I have been praying for this city, that it will be transformed by this heinous act, and not by responding evil with evil, but by becoming a city that LOVES, as Christ loves his people. That people would feel the love of God like a broken dam, that floods through every seedy ally and small corners of every heart, and the city would be renewed and transformed by this love, by His power, and by His Grace.
Because I am dealing with my own insecurities while I am here, I feel an inadequate vessel to be pouring out such enormous prayers for this city. But for some reason I am here and feel this burden that I can’t seem to ignore, so I continue to pray things that I may never see answered, or may never see the impact of until I get to heaven. But for some reason, God chooses inadequate vessels, so maybe he did indeed choose me to be here for such a time as this.
This is not who you are.
Tonight I've been thinking about insecurities... we all have them, the challenge is to not let them define you. So I took a lesson from Moana tonight and drew up this little picture to share!
Ode to Audrey
She dances in glee around the garden
The sun shining off her golden hair
She counts our new sprouts with eagerness
While I enjoy her sweet presence there.
Inspiration guides her as we head inside
Where she pulls out her crayons and creates.
Dirt and seed and vegetables
With Pictures and words she elaborates.
Creation inspires more creation
and my creation inspires me.
I look into her sparkling eyes
As she hands me her book so excitedly.
A sweet little story, the life of a garden
Planting, watering, growing our seeds
Her masterpiece on sheets of paper
Mine standing in front of me.
Her likeness of me, a gift from Heaven
His wondrous Creation in my care.
I marvel at her creative spirit
And whisper praises into the air.
I water, nurture, and attend,
Cultivating this beautiful sprite
And up she grows, from seed to sprout
And I must pull out my pen and write.
AirBnb: Our Own Mission Field
This is a guest post by the very talented Lois Barker, who also happens to be my mother and who I wrote this post about in 2007.
Two weeks ago, my husband and I traveled from our home in Fairfield, Connecticut to Williamsburg, Virginia in order to attend the wedding of a lovely young woman who stayed with us through Airbnb. She stayed with us all last summer, and every day after work, we would spend time together as she told us about her day. As we took our seats at her wedding, we both had tears in our eyes thinking of the blessings God has given us in getting to know this lovely woman and now, her husband. As I told her, she will always be remembered in our prayers.
Who would have thought when we started AirBnb that we would form such precious relationships with our guests? And that we would be invited to share in their families' momentous occasions? And that we would be able to share our faith with people from all over the world, without ever leaving our home? But that's just a small part of the joys of hosting through Airbnb.
And what an amazing time we had this past weekend! Again, through Airbnb, we have been honored to host two separate Chinese families over the past several years. They now consider our home their home-away-from-home. These two families had never met in China, but became friends when they were staying in our house at the same time. Both of these families had children in private schools in Connecticut. Both of these young people were the valedictorians of the respective classes and now will be attending the same university in the United States. Imagine our joy when they proudly invited us to the two separate graduations and then two graduation parties afterwards. We felt so honored and privileged to be included in such an intimate gathering. And again, as we said good-bye, we told them they would always be in our hearts and prayers.
For many years we have been giving to missions but never felt led to go ourselves. At times, we even felt guilty as family members and friends left their homes to be missionaries around the world. Then the Lord brought us to a period of financial instability, so we decided to open our home to Airbnb. What a surprise to find that God used a time of uncertainty in our lives to bring the mission field right to us!
We put Bibles in different languages in all the rooms. We pray for opportunities to share Christ with our guests. We simply become friends and join in their lives, and through this, we have our own little mission field. We pray that we can be a blessing to our guests. And we find great joy in the blessing that they have been to us.
I cried through Cars 3.
David in some of his Lightning McQueen gear.
I cried all the way through Cars 3. And then I came home and cried some more. My husband looked at me like I was crazy, so I decided to try to put all the feelings into words.
I'm sure I'm not the only one whose son is a Lightning McQueen fanatic. We've been fans of his for over two years now, and frankly, I couldn't be happier. In fact, I'd say they were the happiest few years of my life. Now I am not saying it is because of Lightning McQueen, but I don't think I'll ever be able to separate my fondness for these years from Lightning McQueen. And that's the reason Cars 3 hit me right in the gut: he represents something to me.
My husband and I frequently discuss our favorite Pixar movies. His are Wall-E, Up, and Ratatouille (the worst ones, in my opinion, but by that I don't mean bad!) Mine had been Brave and The Incredibles. But then my son, David, made me watch Cars over and over and over again. And something changed. After watching it the tenth time, I really enjoyed it. After the fiftieth time, I loved it. And after the one hundredth time, it became my favorite Pixar (and probably kids' movie) of all time! How often do you hear of that happening?
The themes of Cars and Cars 3 are both very poignant and moving. The ends of both are sweet and surprising. Not perhaps how you want them to end upon first watch, but better when you realize the message that is being sent. (And I'm not a hater of Cars 2 like most people. It's a fun side-story.)
Cars 3, though, has Lightning McQueen getting older, slower, and considering retirement. And he's not particularly happy about it. (Who is?) I found myself identifying with Lightning McQueen, as newer, younger cars began to replace him and become more relevant. And not only that, but in saying goodbye to Lightning McQueen's racing career, I found myself recognizing an end of an era: David's toddlerhood. Days I will never get back that have been so happy for me and him, as I watch him line up his Cars characters, call them his "guys", and give them all kisses. Soon, I was picturing myself an old women, seeing an old Lightning McQueen die cast toy car, and remembering all those sweet days with my little boy!
Overreaction? Yes.
But that's why I cried through Cars 3.
Deeper Magic
"Oh, you're real, you're real! Oh, Aslan!" cried Lucy and both girls flung themselves upon him and covered him with kisses.
"But what does it all mean?" asked Susan when they were somewhat calmer.
"It means," said Aslan, "that thought the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know. Her knowledge goes back only to the dawn of Time. But if she could have looked a little further back, into the stillness and the darkness before Time dawned, she would have read there a different incantation. She would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backwards." (emphasis added)
C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
An Invitation to His Plan
Last week I wrote about my sometimes bad attitude. I've been thinking a lot about it and I wish I could say I've conquered it forever and absolutely! But instead, it will probably continue in those hard days. So for now, I will work to contemplate God's grace.
If I think of my obligations as just that - obligations - then that's what they always will be. But instead, I am trying to remember that God has a plan that will be accomplished, whether I am a part of it or not! But because of His love and grace to me, he gently invites me to be a part of accomplishing His perfect plan. He uses my flawed attitude, my faithless hands, to carry out his Perfect Plan.
And what a beautiful gift!
I don't have to do anything to earn His love.
I get to do His work because of His love.
Yesterday I spent some time looking at my hands and I offer them to Him. They are His hands, to use on this earth, to accomplish His Will. "Not my will but yours," Jesus says in the garden before His death, and I try to echo that in my fallen, imperfect way.
I hesitate to even write these thoughts, because it sound so pious, so put-together. But in fact, it is the exact opposite. These are the thoughts in my head as I feel worn down and just trying to keep my head above water.
And my bad attitude will come and go as the days roll in and out. But His love for me will continue, and His plan will continue, and I get to be a part of it.
The Bad Attitude and the Blessing
I have a confession to make.
Many, many times throughout the day, I have a bad attitude. I'm working on it, I really am. But seriously, I'm a mom. I'm tired. I have more to do than I can get done, and none of it is what I want to be doing. Hence the bad attitude.
But recently I've noticed an amazing phenomenon:
God uses me despite my bad attitude.
It has happened time and time again in the past months (and probably years, if I really look back far enough). Here is the common situation:
An obligation is approaching, usually one that I myself signed up for many weeks earlier. But as the day approaches that I need to fulfill the obligation, I start to whine. Then the day arrives, and I get on my phone and complain to my friends about the obligation. I wonder why I signed up for the obligation in the first place!
Then comes the amazing part. Once the obligation is done, I realize that God used me and my bad attitude and made something beautiful come out of it. I look back on the obligation and realize it was an act of beauty, it was received with love, and my life was blessed by it. And in looking back on what was once thought of as an obligation, but now I realize was a blessing, I am humbled.
What kind of God uses me to bless others when I am a whiner, complainer, and a bad-attitude haver? And not only uses me, but blesses me through it? It is a God of love, kindness, mercy, and forgiveness. The kind of God who wants to pour out his blessings, if we would only open our eyes and see them.
And it makes me think.
What kind of blessing would I be (and therefore receive) if I could just knock-off that bad attitude? Would the blessings to others be multiplied if I truly did these things out of love instead of obligation?
Am I as bad as Joseph's brothers? "You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good." (Genesis 50:20)
(To be fair, I never intend harm! A bad attitude can't be as bad as that, right?)
Only an all-powerful and gracious God can make all these things come out for the good.
So I continue to work on it. Those busy days come and go and so do the bad attitudes (a lot of times it depends on the amount of sleep I get, to which I think most mothers can attest!).
And even in those times, in all times, God is faithful and I am blessed.
Look at the Stars and Remember
So everyone knows I love October. I would say up there with chocolate and Harry Potter, October is one of the things I mention most on this blog! I love the leaves in the streets, the cool weather, the pumpkins and scarecrows. But something I haven't thought about much are October nights. I love them just as much as October days! The chill in the air when we crack the window, the lights on the porches as the days grow shorter, the warm pjs and slippers (to be fair , that's an all day thing in my house...). And the stars. With the earlier nights, it's easier to step outside and look up before you would normally tumble into bed. And maybe I should start taking the time to notice.
Because for some reason, a stars theme keeps popping up in my life.
A few nights ago,I received a beautiful voice message of my niece singing "Consider the Stars" (by Keith and Kristyn Getty) and I just started crying. Hearing her sing "Consider the stars in the sky; When it is darkest they shine out the brightest, Consider the stars in the sky, In every anguish, Oh, child take courage." Something about the juxtaposition of her sweet childish voice and the great truths of Heaven spoke to me at the very heart of my being.
Then in my small group, we talked about Abraham. In Genesis 15:5, God says, "Look up at the sky and count the stars" and Abraham will be reminded of God's amazing - and seemingly impossible! - promise to him. But whenever Abraham doubts or forgets, all he has to do is look up and be reminded!
Even in the Mops theme for the year: We are the Starry Eyed! I love this picture of motherhood, because too often I feel like my eyes just look tired. But there's more to life than that, even a stay-at-home mom's life! Their website says, "Starry Eyed means looking for the light even when darkness is enveloping. It is an opportunity to hope recklessly and to witness God’s presence guiding things seen and unseen, comfortable and uncomfortable." Looking up at the sky and sensing the wonder, even in the ordinary. I love this theme because it reminds me that life is never just ordinary, never just mundane, never just hard. There is beauty and wonder and hope amidst it all!
Finally, I have been memorizing Psalm 8, "When I consider the heavens, the moon and the stars that you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him?" God is so majestic and beautiful and magnificent, why does He even bother with me? But he does. He sees me. Truly sees me, more than anyone ever has.
And isn't that what we all really want? Just to be truly seen. As an introvert and a person who will always choose being home over going out, sometimes I don't feel seen. People notice the fun people, the outgoing people, the beautiful people (or at least it feels that way to me). And I feel invisible.
But I can look at the stars and know the the Creator is actually looking back at me. And as I gaze out, I can remember these beautiful messages from Him: that He keeps His promises, that He has given me life and wants me to live it in wonder and awe, that He sees me.
So this October, don't just enjoy the days. Enjoy the nights. Look up and remember:
Do not be afraid
He who made all of this,
says “You're worth more than this,”
And holds you in his hands.*
*If you haven't listened to this song, go listen now! So sweet and poignant. Then teach a nearby child, because hearing a child sing it makes it all the more powerful. Consider the Stars, by Keith and Kristyn Getty.