The Bad Attitude and the Blessing

I have a confession to make.

Many, many times throughout the day, I have a bad attitude. I'm working on it, I really am. But seriously, I'm a mom. I'm tired. I have more to do than I can get done, and none of it is what I want to be doing. Hence the bad attitude.

But recently I've noticed an amazing phenomenon: 

God uses me despite my bad attitude. 


It has happened time and time again in the past months (and probably years, if I really look back far enough). Here is the common situation:

An obligation is approaching, usually one that I myself signed up for many weeks earlier. But as the day approaches that I need to fulfill the obligation, I start to whine. Then the day arrives, and I get on my phone and complain to my friends about the obligation. I wonder why I signed up for the obligation in the first place! 

Then comes the amazing part. Once the obligation is done, I realize that God used me and my bad attitude and made something beautiful come out of it. I look back on the obligation and realize it was an act of beauty, it was received with love, and my life was blessed by it. And in looking back on what was once thought of as an obligation, but now I realize was a blessing, I am humbled. 

What kind of God uses me to bless others when I am a whiner, complainer, and a bad-attitude haver? And not only uses me, but blesses me through it? It is a God of love, kindness, mercy, and forgiveness. The kind of God who wants to pour out his blessings, if we would only open our eyes and see them. 

And it makes me think.

What kind of blessing would I be (and therefore receive) if I could just knock-off that bad attitude? Would the blessings to others be multiplied if I truly did these things out of love instead of obligation?

Am I as bad as Joseph's brothers? "You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good." (Genesis 50:20)

(To be fair, I never intend harm! A bad attitude can't be as bad as that, right?) 

Only an all-powerful and gracious God can make all these things come out for the good.

So I continue to work on it. Those busy days come and go and so do the bad attitudes (a lot of times it depends on the amount of sleep I get, to which I think most mothers can attest!).

And even in those times, in all times, God is faithful and I am blessed.