On the bright side...
If my recent posts have given the impression that our move has been a negative experience, please let me assure you that it is not true! Yes, I am still homesick and adjusting to life here, but more than anything, in my posts, I want to just point out the differences (and sometimes similarities) between life here and the life that I'm used to. However, I think I will take this opportunity to start pointing out the things I like about living here so far.
the food! This has to be Numero Uno on the list because the food here is amazing. And not just the Indian food. Because we are living in a city, there is a lot of variety.
deliveries! Going along with number one, we have found that many restaurants here deliver. This is exciting for me because, since Ryan works nights, I'm on my own for dinner. Being able to order from some of our favorite restaurants is something I can look forward to in the evenings.
people do seem to want to be helpful... It's funny because even if they don't know the answer, they won't say so!
our apartment. It really is a lovely place, and I can't wait until we get the rest of our furniture to decorate it!
the spa prices! Back home, I never went to spas because of the ridiculously high prices! But here, an hour massage is $30-$40, and that's at a really, really nice place. I figure I could do that on a monthly basis!
the church we've been attending. It is amazing to me that we can be on the other side of the world, and still find a church that believes what we believe, sings the songs that we are familiar with, and has a service format almost exactly like our church back home! Plus, seeing people from so many different countries together and worshiping God is an amazing experience in and of itself.
I think it would be a good idea for me to continue updating this list, so I'll let you know when I add to it as the months go on.
Indian Stretchable Time
"Time-keeping is not an Indian strength. Your punctuality will be expected, but don't assume the the Indians will be on time. Delays are normal and to be expected, so be prepared to be kept waiting for appointments. It is a standing joke that IST (Indian Standard Time) really stands for Indian Stretchable Time. Westerners in India have difficulty in understanding this fluidity in relation to time; patience is key." -Culture Smart! India
Culture Shock, episode 1
So far I must admit to being rather proud of myself for how I'm adjusting. That said, it should be noted that while Ryan is out in the "real world" for 9-10 hours everyday, I just sit in our apartment and watch TV (our shipments haven't arrived yet, so it's all I have had to do--don't judge me). Even so, there have been a couple things that have struck me as so different, it's even hard for me to wrap my mind around them.
The first is what I like to call "Indian time". Actually, from what I've heard, most countries aside from the US have their own time, where "tomorrow" means "next week" or "30 minutes" means "2 hours". But I have never experienced this before. I come from a culture of "If you don't have your pizza in 30 minutes, we'll give it to you free" etc. etc. so I've always expected that when someone says "30 minutes", they mean "30 minutes". If it's after that (within maybe a 5 minute grace period), it is considered rude and apologies are usually offered. That is not the case here. Since we have arrived, we have been promised many "tomorrows" that turn out to be several days or even a week later. We have been promised "I'll be there in 30 minutes" and we now know not to go down for at least an hour. It's not rude here, it's just how it is. However, Ryan is picking up on it. He called his driver when we were an hour from our apartment and said, "I'll be there in 15 minutes." Let's just hope it's not something he brings back to America with him.
Secondly, as white people, we get stared at, a lot. In fact, we were told before we came that people would even want to take our pictures, and would sometimes even try to do it sneakily without you knowing. Well, it's one thing to be warned, and another to experience it for yourself! Ryan and I visited Golconda Fort one Saturday, which is a big site-seeing attraction here in Hyderabad. There are hundreds of huge stairs, so at one point we just needed to sit down and take a break. At one point, I noticed that someone was sitting beside us and when I looked up, he was getting his picture taken. So I moved to get out of the way, as people politely do in America, to get out of other people's pictures. As I moved, however, the huge group of people near the person taking the picture started laughing! The guy who was sitting next to us says to us, "No, come sit back down, I wanted you in the picture!" We were shocked! Here is this young guy, speaking perfect English, dressed very western, and yet he still wanted a picture of the two white people next to him! So I said (probably too politely), "I don't want to be in your picture" while everyone was still laughing! I was very embarrassed and Ryan and I just walked away.
Finally, most people here have domestic help and we were told that it would be a good idea for us to as well, as the apartments can get very dusty. So we thought we'd just get someone to come in and do the floors, the kitchen, and the bathrooms a couple times a week. However, if we want someone to do the toilets, we'd have to get someone separate who's in a lower caste. This fact was such a whole different concept for me! I thought to myself, "Forget it! I'll clean my own toilets, I don't care!" It must be so strange to come to America after living in India and realize that people in the middle class clean their own toilets! And even their houses!!
I am hopeful that once I adjust to these three changes, I'll be a more patient person, not be so self-conscious, and know how to clean a mean toilet!
We have internet!
After 41 days, two internet service provider applications, four electricians, countless calls to complain, one angry husband, we finally have internet! Get ready for posts galore!
Arrival to India
Perhaps some of you are wondering why this post is entitled "Arrival to India" when in fact we have been here over a month. Well, there are a number of factors:
We still do not have any internet in our apartment (I'm currently crouched in a corner, stealing someone else's)! As you will learn from my posts to come, things take a lot of time here...
It took a week to move into our apartment. Another week to get a bed (we slept on couches). And another week to get our air shipment (computer, sheets, towels-we've been drying off in t-shirts).
And frankly, I've just been allowing myself to be a lazy butt and just never felt like writing this post! But there are some good stories, some of which I will share with you now (these are just excerpts from my journal, so please excuse the informality of the writing).
August 28, 2008 Hugo did very well on the flights. We could NOT get him to pee anywhere, let alone on the weewee pads. Sometimes I feel like God really does have a sense of humor, because while on the plane to Frankfurt, I prayed that Hugo would go when we got to the airport. Well, while walking through the busiest terminal, where all the food and shopping is, all of a sudden we notice a trail of poop coming from Hugo! So we had to stop in the middle of the terminal and I had to go back and pick it all up! Luckily, I had brought little baggies with me just in case. What forethought, if I do say so myself.
August 29, 2008 Arrive in Hyderabad, no one waiting to pick us up... again! Wait around, make calls, nothing. Meanwhile, these four men started picking on Hugo and taking pictures of me! Very awkward... Ryan finally picked up yet another one of those men with cars that are not associated with a taxi company. I was so mad I could have screamed (this is exactly what had happened on our last visit). And on top of that, we didn't know where to go! At first we thought we'd go to one of the nice hotels and sneak in Hugo, but the way he was whining so much at that point, it wouldn't have worked. So we got the guy to take us to Ryan's office.
When we got there, about 8 security guards needed convincing that Ryan actually does work there and then we had to get them to call the ex-pat resources person. Finally they got a hold of her (in the middle of the night) and she gave us the address of where we were going and sent a cab. The cab was a tiny little car and can't fit all our suitcases, so he had to put one on the roof (mine, of course) ...and he didn't even secure it up there! So we thought we were finally headed for the guest house. Well, the cab driver couldn't find it! We probably drove around for an hour looking for it. (Our cab driver even had to stop to pee on the side of the road! Or at least I think that's what he was doing... he stopped the car, took out the keys and ran around the corner for about 30 seconds and then came back.) After many phone calls and many wrong turns, we arrived at the complex.
Up we went with all our suitcases and walked into a reasonably nice apartment. "OK," I thought, "This isn't too bad. I could stay here for a while when Ryan's at work." Well, then I started noticing all the locks on each door. Then I realized they were taking all our bags into one small room in the corner. That's when it hit me we just got one room in the place. The rest was community area. I sobbed myself to sleep.
August 30, 2008 We don't think they get any Americans at this guest house. First of all, they do not speak English-at all. They also seem to think it's very weird that we keep the door closed while we're here. Ryan says we seem to be an anomaly in every way: taking the stairs instead of the elevator, not keeping our door open when we're just hanging around, bringing a tiny dog around with us everywhere. We are probably quite the site!
Well anyway, today we didn't have any food or water! And we didn't know how to get any... I think we were slightly dehydrated. We had no phone, either. Luckily we have email, so Ryan was able to get in touch with our relocation expert and after much communication, we finally got a car to pick us up. Apparently this woman tried to call the guest house twice, but the man said to her that he could not disturb us because the door was closed. This was after having knocked on our door twice, once to ask if we wanted housekeeping and once to see what we were doing for dinner! He doesn't really speak English though so the conversations went something more like this:
Little man: Housekeeping? Ryan: No we're fine for today, thanks anyway. Little man: No housekeeping? Ryan: No.
Little man: Dinner? Ryan: No thanks, we actually have a car coming to take us out to get some food in a bit. Thanks anyway. Little man: No dinner? Ryan: No.
The car brought us to Q-Mart, which is a store of mostly imported foods from America and Europe. It's funny the different clientele you see there: very western looking. Even the Indians that were shopping there were speaking English and dressed in jeans and t-shirts. This is opposed to what seems like 99% of the women walking around the city who are in saris or those Indian suits. We got some food and water (thank goodness!) and came back to the apartment to a dinner of peanut butter and nutella sandwiches. September 1, 2008 I was dreading today, but it turned out much better than I thought! After not sleeping well, Ryan and I met with the woman who manages our apartment to sign the lease. She confirmed that it will be ready for us on Sunday (yay!) [note: it wasn't] but also mentioned she had another "guest house" that didn't have any other guests, so we could basically just have the whole apartment. And the best part was that it was in the same complex as our apartment. Well, we jumped at the chance!
So here I sit, in an apartment almost exactly like ours will be. The internet is limited here because we haven't set it up yet, but other than that, it's 100x better! And the grounds are so lovely, it's so nice to take Hugo out there. There's actually grass!
People are enamored with Hugo. No one yet has been familiar with Yorkshire Terriers. We were pleased that the manager of our apartment complex seemed to love him. She thought he was adorable and so well-behaved (yeah right...). And tonight at work, Ryan said that the only question that his employees had for him was "Is it true you have a dog? What kind is it?" It seems to be quite the oddity.
September 2, 2008 So much for being productive today. I was about to write and say what a good day it was because Ryan and I went out to lunch together and had such a nice time. It was called Serengeti and it was basically a Rainforest Cafe with Indian food. But then when I got home, I killed an R [note: my way of saying "roach" without having to say it] which put me in a state of terror. I cleared off the bed and made myself a safe space and just sat there pretty much all day! 9 hours!! Just not a good day overall.
So that's basically our arrival. After another week or so, we finally moved into our apartment and from then on, it was basically shopping for furniture and appliances, waiting for furniture and appliances, and passing the time watching King of Queens.
New Category
For those of you interested in only reading about my time in India, or about my other travels, please note the new category that I have added for those posts only: Imported Chocolate. I thought about just calling it "India" but figured that would not encompass any traveling to other countries that we do and does not fit in with my chocolate theme. I thought about "foreign", to refer to chocolate from other countries, and that led me to "imported". Look for new posts under that tag in the next couple weeks. Unfortunately, our internet is quite spotty right now, but I am keeping track of everything for posting at a later date.
The Sum of all Impressions
We have just returned from our trip to India during which Ryan and I met some of his colleagues and searched for an apartment. We were only there 4 days, but it was quite the roller-coaster of emotions and impressions: #1: I am moving to murderville. Upon our arrival to the airport, we were hot, tired, overwhelmed, and just wanted to get to the hotel. Unfortunately, the driver that we pre-arranged to pick us up never showed. We stood around for a long time not able to make a phone call and with no idea what to do. Finally, we gave in to this persistent little fellow who kept offering to take us to our hotel. Now, this goes against all my better instincts and it only got worse. We got to his little run-down car, which was obviously not a commercial taxi and I started praying we would get out of this alive! We had no idea where we were going or if this man was trustworthy enough to take us to our hotel. We were completely at his mercy! And the roads we were taking! They seemed like these little, tiny back roads and all we could see were piles of dirt and rubble along the sides (with wild dogs climbing all over them and random groups of people milling around). Finally, I decided I better do something to prepare for the worst. With only the slightest of movements, I shifted my passport out of my purse and into my bra. The logic here being that if we were mugged, I would not have my identity stolen too! I took off my rings and slipped them into my pockets, you know, so I could pawn them for rupees when we were robbed. Shortly after making these precautions, however, we arrived safely at our hotel. (I should also mention that by the light of day, the city does not look like murderville at all!)
#2: Fear My first bomb check. (Renee, you're never visiting us, are you?)
#3: Sick to the stomach, literally Was it something I ate? Too many spices? Did I let some water into my mouth during my shower? Stayed in hotel all day.
#4: Depression We spent the entire next day searching for apartments and with each one we saw, I became sadder and sadder. I simply could not see myself living in any of them! Most were dark and dreary, some came with the saddest furniture you have ever seen. I thought regretfully of our decision to move here.
#5: Elation We found it, the most beautiful apartment! It had lovely grounds, a lot of amentities, was in a good area with lots of shopping, and was just cheerful to be in.
#6: Depression, again That night we had dinner with several of Ryan's new colleagues and based on much of the conversation, we had to re-evaluate the decision to go with the afforementioned apartment. All my elation left me and that night all I could do was cry. The one apartment that I could actually see myself living in did not have the one thing we thought we couldn't do without: full power back-up. Apparently the power goes out a lot and you want full power back up so you can still have electricity when this happens (A/C is important!). We would have to spend the next day looking at more apartments.
#7: Fear, again "9-11 could happen anywhere," our relocation expert told us when we asked about site-seeing on Friday, India's Independence Day. Apparently, it isn't safe for ex-pats to go to crowded places on national holidays.
#8: Elation, again After seeing more apartments, none of which could top the one apartment that we had fallen in love with the day before, and much discussion, we decided to go for it! It doens't have full power-back up, but it does have partial back up, which would include fans and lights. For our electronics, we will have to buy UPSs (uninterrupted power supply), so those won't be affected. Moving to this apartment makes me feel so much better about living in India. It is so lovely, and I can see myself being happy there when Ryan is at work. I also think Hugo will be happy there, because on cooler days, we can just leave the French doors open to the balcony and he can be free to roam around out there. I was able to leave India with my mind much more at ease. (click the picture for more)
Post script: I'll leave the impressions there so the story has a happy ending. I won't mention our last day when the spa lost our reservations for massages, we couldn't go anywhere because it wasn't safe for us to be out, my continuing stomach sickness, and our taxi ride back to the airport. I mean driving is scary there anyway, what the the dogs, cows, masses of people, motorbikes, auto-rickshaws, and cars all on the road apparently without knowledge of the concept of "right-of-way", but then imagine doing all that at 110 km/hr (too lazy to calculate it right now) then you'll realize what a harrowing experience it must have been.
An Unusual Poetry-holder
My grandfather, of whom I have written about before, sent his entire family the following email this evening: I went in the hospital at 7 AM and it's now 11:30.... Dr. Valentine did the procedure, so I put a folded red heart where he entered*. lt said:
Come on in, I'm all cleaned up So please wear gloves and don't corrupt Examine carefully all 24 feet And nip all polyps from my fat seat. You may never again see this place So enjoy your stay, then retire my case.
The nurses and doctors said they liked the poetry.
*"Where he entered" refers to where the sun don't shine, if you get my drift... and the funny thing is, this isn't his first time putting poetry there under the same circumstances...
Movie Review: Mamma Mia
I actually enjoyed it! I mean, I was expecting to enjoy it, but after hearing the reviews I was nervous. The girl was fabulous, Meryl Streep was not bad, but Pierce Brosnan, though sexy, was laughable! He should never, ever have tried singing! I went with five other women, all of whom were familiar with the Abba songs, so we had a great time singing along in the theater. I'm sure the people behind us enjoyed us too. I mean, we were good. Much better than Pierce and Meryl, so really we were doing them a favor. And who can hear "Mamma Mia" and "Dancing Queen" and not sing along?
Related: Movie Review: Get Smart Movie Review: Sex and the City Movie Review: Wall-E Movie Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Grandparent Movie Review: Wall-E
Grandparent Movie Review: Wall-E
My grandparents, I call them Bumma and Bumpa, went to see Wall-E last night. Today I had the following conversation with them (it's paraphrased a bit). Bumpa: You know we went to see Wall-E last night, and we walked out half way through! Me: You did? Why? Bumma (in background): Don't tell her that! She'll think she has two duds for grandparents! Bumpa (to me): Oh, we just thought there were too many explosions. Me: Explosions? Are you sure you were in the right theater? I don't remember any explosions! Bumpa: And we heard people laughing so I laughed the loudest among them, but I didn't know why.
Well, Bumma, don't ever worry about me thinking you two are duds. In fact, I think this conversation has made you both even more endearing!
Related: Movie Review: Wall-E
Movie Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
I've written a lot of movie reviews today and both quality and quantity have dwindled with each one. Well, this is the last one I am going to write today, and as you will see, I've hit bottom. I liked it.
If you would like more details, feel free to comment and I will respond. That is all.
Movie Review: Sex and The City
I am almost a little embarrassed to admit that I enjoyed this movie. Honestly, its massive promotion had made me sick of it before even having seen it! And the internet rumors had me convinced I would not like the plot or the ending at all! Yes, it had a lot of sex scenes and language. Yes, it was much too long. But it actually had a sweet story, and I will admit to loving the fashion! I came out of it wanting to dress up and put on high heels and do my hair all pretty. (Fortunately, that soon wore off and I found myself in my sweats, hair tied up in a messy bun, sitting barefoot on my couch.)
I would not recommend this movie for most of the people in my circles, and normally I would not have even recommended it for me. But once again it shows that I cannot simply go by what critics have to say and to never put any stock in those internet rumors.
Movie Review: Get Smart
I have seen this movie twice already! I have seen it with a person who never once saw the show (many people don't even realize it used to be a show!) and with a person who was a fan of the show. They both loved it. Steve Carell reminds me of the old Max (Don Adams) and pulls off all the old lines perfectly: "Missed it by that much" and "The old phone in the shoe trick". I wasn't as thrilled with Anne Hathaway as Agent 99, but by the end, her "Oh Max"s had convinced me. All in all, very good casting and a fun movie for everyone, fan of the show or not.
And as someone who used to play Agent 99 in her backyard with her friend, Agent 86, I thought I would be much harder to please.
Movie Review: Wall-E
I will admit that, even after reading all the amazing reviews of Wall-E, I went in still expecting not to like it. In every review I read, the words "subtle green message" kept appearing. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for taking care of our planet, but my mind kept returning to the Happy Feet disaster-of-a-movie* and I did not want to repeat that experience. However, after listening to my husband gushing over his Wall-e experience (and hearing his endless imitations of the robot), I consented to see the movie.
I am not going to say I was wrong in my initial thoughts. Not because I wasn't, but because I do not like to admit being wrong! But it was a wonderful movie. Wall-e himself was extremely likeable, even though he could not speak. And that's part of the magic right there: giving robots without speech a definite personality, that you either like or don't.
As my dad said, after seeing the movie, "It's basically just a love story." And he was right.
*I don't think I ever wrote a review on Happy Feet, but it's worth a separate post. Look for one in the days ahead.
Related: Grandparent Movie Review: Wall-E
"Ah, How Sweet It Is!"
"No matter the price, millions need their daily chocolate fix." And so begins an article from Time magazine, dated July 12, 1982. I was nearly six months old.
My parents have been doing massive spring cleaning, and yesterday while visiting their house, my dad brought this article to me. For some reason, he had saved it for 26 years. He says there's no explanation other than he somehow knew that his daughter would have a blog someday named after her love of chocolate.
The article has some very interesting little tid-bits. I hope it provides some good blog fodder. More to come!
My life in India?
I have been thinking a lot about what my life will be like in India. Aside from the culture shock and the initial touristy excursions, I am expecting I will face a good amount of down-time. Ryan's working hours will be 2pm to 11pm. We will have mornings together, but after that, I will be alone. I hope to make friends with other ex-pat spouses and maybe even some people from church, but in the beginning, what will I do with my time? Ryan's company offers some options (which, honestly, I find laughable):
Hyderabad has many clubs. The Secunderabad Club is one of the best private clubs in the city and provides many facilities. It is possible to get temporary membership.
Many spouses have taken up hobbies such as gardening, pets, aquariums etc.
Part-time employment opportunities for expat spouses
WOW! I think I found my answer, guys! I will take up aquariums!!!*
But in all seriousness, here are some of my ideas (that's right, it's a list. I love my projects and I love lists. And this combines the two: a list of projects.):
I may look in to taking a yoga class with other ex-pats. I figure this could be a good way to get to know them, as well as get my needed exercise.
I am going to work on my Summer Reading List. Yes, by that time, it will be autumn. That is irrelevant!
Of course, I want to keep up with my friends and family, so I intend to be writing a lot of emails, updating my family site with new pictures, keeping this blog up to date with my comings and goings, scheduling video chats (when available), and chatting via Skype as much as possible!
I may even pick up my LOTR project again!
I want to continue practicing writing as much as possible, from this blog and my serialized story, to finishing my novel that I started several years ago.
And finally, I am going to devote myself to the marketing of my mom's business: Jean Elton. Her pottery is just beautiful and she really just needs to get her name out there! And hopefully, that's where I come in.
As with most of my projects, these will probably go unfinished. However, in the interest of being prepared for the inevitable boredom and lonliness, these are some of my ideas. Please feel free to leave any of your own in the comments section! I love hearing what you have to think.
*Please note: that was sarcasm.
NEWS, part 2
Hot off the presses! Seriously, by reading this blog, you are one of the very first to know! Ryan has just heard that he will be made a formal job offer (to go to India) by the end of this week (which probably means next week).
This is rather shocking after hearing only yesterday that we probably wouldn't find out anything for another month. My mind is in turmoil (do I really want to do this? I'm scared!) and my palms are sweaty!
Noisy Neighbors, an update
Some of you will remember my previous post about our upstairs neighbors, in which I try very hard to see the situation from another perspective. I had many complimentary comments about how good I was to be able to step into another person's shoes and try to see things as they do, how sweet it was of me, how kind. Well guess what. That's all over. Because as much as I want to be good and sweet and kind, when you are constantly woken up at 5:30 in the morning by screaming and stomping, and when you are constantly having to pause your favorite TV shows at night to wait until yet another tantrum is over, all that good and sweet and kind stuff flies right out the window.
A couple weeks ago, we had an interesting development. We were awakened, as usual, by screaming and stomping, but this time, it was worse than usual. Our whole apartment was literally shaking. Our dog, Hugo, was cowering beside us in bed, and we wouldn't have let him down anyway for fear of something falling off the walls from the earthquake-like shaking! We heard the dishes in our cupboards rattling and the pictures on the walls slid to the side.* There was no going back to sleep. We lay there listening, shocked and scared. Suddenly, though, we heard a man's voice, and the screaming and stomping subsided a bit. He was saying they had received 15 or 20 complaints that morning about the noise from both the daughter and the dog (oh yes, they have a dog too, and it likes to bark, a lot). The man was asking how old the children were and if they were in school, etc. etc. We could not hear the mother's voice, as she must have been speaking softly. Ryan and I assumed it was the apartment superintendent, but in peering out the window as the man left (yes, we are a little bit nosy. OK, a lot nosy), it turned out to be 3 policemen! Someone in the complex had called the police on them!
Nowadays, I can see how calling the police when you hear a child screaming like that is a good thing, as you never know what is going on. However, in talking with this mother through the years (and being privy to all their conversations), I knew there was no abuse going on.
Just a good, old-fashioned, American devil-child!**
*I will freely admit that I have sometimes exaggerated for the benefit of a story. This, however, is no exaggeration.
**There is still a part of me that feels badly for the child, because I truly believe that she is in dire need of some counselling (or perhaps a new counsellor?). But com'on, think of the neighbors and keep the noise to a minimum!