A Few Quotes
As I work through Mere Christianity, I thought I'd post a few quotes that are worth remembering:
"God made us: invented us as a man invents an engine. A car is made to run on petrol, and it would not run properly on anything else. Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other. That is why it is just no good asking God to make us happy in our own way without bothering about religion. God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."
"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: 'I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God.' That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on a level witht the man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."
After that amazing chapter, I start to wonder why I am not reading a little of this book every day? Why do I put it off so often? What good reminders of the kind of God we serve.
What I've Learned from Audrey: Love
I started writing a post entitled "What I've Learned from Audrey" and had so many points listed out, I thought instead that it could be a series, of which this is the first. When I first started writing that post, I'll be honest, it was just to get one done in the month of May. But it really caused me to start thinking about the past 15 months, all I've learned, and how much I've changed through motherhood. And once in a while, a little introspection is probably a good thing. Before becoming a mother, I can't say I really knew love. Yes, I love my husband, my parents, my friends and family. But the love a mother (or father, but I can't attest to that personally) feels for her child is the most intense, fierce, gentle, terrifying, wonderful thing I've ever known.
Even though I don't have as much time as I'd like to spend in quiet meditation, I'm learning more than I ever did about God's love for me. How could he possibly love me more than I love Audrey? How could he love Audrey more than I love her? But He does, and that makes me love Him all the more.
Anyone who even compliments Audrey in some small way endears themselves to me. How much more someone who loves her more fiercely, gently, sacrificially than I do?
Love is also terrifying. I read somewhere that being a parent is like wearing your heart on the outside of your body. You are intensely vulnerable. Even when Audrey just pushes me away in favor of someone else, my heart breaks a little. What will happen when she leaves me for good? Or even worse, what if something ever happened to her?
Love opens a whole new door to fears, but it also reminds me of the hope that I have. This life isn't it for us who believe. We will all meet again in heaven, and my heart clings to that.
Every day I pray for Audrey's faith. I want her to have that hope, too. I want her to love Jesus more than anything. That has become my deepest desire.
Motherhood has led me on such a journey: one of faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love (1 Cor. 13:13). So thank you, my sweet Audrey, for teaching me so much about it.
Counting to One Hundred
Every day I spend some time teaching Audrey in various ways. I'm teaching her the alphabet, the States, Bible verses, and her numbers. Yes, I know, she's only one, so I'm not sure she's really getting any of it. But I know she will someday. Right now it's mostly a way for me to spend time with her and play a little make-believe (I'm the teacher, she's the unruly student!). As I sing through numbers one through ten with her, I'm reminded of the very first time I was able to count to one hundred. It was such an exciting moment for me, and not as hard as I had previously thought it would be. So, just to extend my appreciation to the person who taught me how, I thought I'd write him a thank you note:
Dear Random Man on Chair Lift,
I've spend a lot of time thinking about you recently, like, why were you and I sharing a chair lift together? Why did my parents let me ride up with a stranger? Why were we sharing a four-person ski lift when there were just two of us? What made us start counting to a hundred in the first place? Were you bored out of your mind, or did you think it was funny?
I guess I'll never get answers to those questions, but I do know I have you to thank for counting to one hundred. Who knows, I may never have been able to do it without you! Your careful guidance through the tens, teens, twenties, and so on, made a distinct impression on my young life. I'm so glad you were there to share my joy at such a great accomplishment.
So thank you again, random guy on a chair lift. I hope you remember it as fondly as I do. And thank you, as well, for not being a pervert.
Sincerely,
Amy
He probably will never see that thank you note, but I feel better just sending it out into cyberspace.
So now, I will continue teaching Audrey and passing on that fount of knowledge passed on to me from that random guy. Hopefully her memories of the great one hundred will be just as sweet.
A Problem with Februarys
Birthday Girl
February has become a wonderful month for me, as last year it brought the birth of our daughter, and this year was the celebration of her first year. But along with that, and maybe because of that, I seem to neglect my blog in that month. So, for the first time in 5 or so years (last year I let myself pre-date a blog post due to the circumstances, but I don't think I have an excuse for that this year), I missed a month on this blog. I am ashamed that I let it get away from me, especially when all I really needed to do was post the following adorable picture and all would have been OK.
Books Read in 2011
List of books read in 2011. Unfortunately, I over-estimated how many I had read (since several are quite long), and I didn't get any of my Summer Reading books done! But at least I still met my goal. We'll Meet Again by Mary Higgins Clark Heading Home With Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality by Laura A Jana & Jennifer Shu The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan The Titan's Curse by Rick Riordan The Battle of the Labyrinth by Rick Riordan Teach Your Baby to Sign by Monica Beyer Your Pregnancy Week by Week by Dr. Glade B. Curtis & Judith Schuler What to Expect when you're expecting by Heidi Murkoff & Sharon Mazel The Proposal by Lori Wick The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery The Dragon Reborn by Robert Jordan The Shadow Rising by Robert Jordan Fires of Heaven by Robert Jordan Lord of Chaos by Robert Jordan Twilight by Stephanie Meyer New Moon by Stephanie Meyer Home by Choice by Brenda Hunter
Add me as a friend on Goodreads if you are interested in my thoughts on any of these!
Hot Blog Posts of 2011!
One of my annual resolutions is to write at least one blog post per month, but last year I resolved to not just "phone it in" with them, and may I say, I think I succeeded. So here's the list of my favorites from 2011: Audrey's Birth Story - Since we are coming up on a year already, I just wanted to take a minute to remember everything that happened on that amazing day! OK, you may not want to reread it, so this is just for me.
Fuzz or Bug? - Nothing much, just kinda funny.
My Life Verse - I'm not proud of all my posts, but I am proud of this one.
Our Senses - Ditto.
My Things-To-Do List - This turned into a much bigger deal than I intended! In fact, believe it or not, I have been planning a book based on this post.
Randomness... - I would not have included this one, except that it got the most feedback of any of my posts, probably ever!
Balancing Mary and Martha - This is a post that I should read every so often, just to remind me of what's important.
Staring at the Sky - Ditto.
Related Posts: Hot Blog Posts of 2010! Hot Blog Posts of 20o9!
Staring at the Sky
A few nights ago, while I was taking Hugo out, I noticed how bright it was outside and glanced up in the sky. It was an enormous full moon, or at least it seemed larger than usual to me. I was awestruck by how clear it was, even as the clouds raced past its surface. It made me feel small and insignificant, and made me realize how huge and majestic the Creator of all of it is. I stared for a while longer before I remembered my purpose in coming out and lowered my eyes to look for Hugo. That's when I noticed the Christmas lights and decorations at our neighbor's house across the street and it really hit me again what this Season is all about. It's about the enormous becoming small.
It's about the Creator visiting his Creation.
It's about giving up living among the stars, in order to live under them.
It's about looking at the majesty and vastness of the universe then looking at the Christmas lights on a small house.
Our God, who is above the sky, who can hold the whole Earth in his hand, who was there before there was, came down to us out of love. What a beautiful story! How can we not be swept up by it this time of year? How extraordinary that we can be a part of it! How sad is it that some people don't know about it.
Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.
Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father
Philippians 2:5-11 (The Message)
Thoughts on Twilight (the time of day)
OK, I'll admit it, I've strayed a bit from my Summer Reading List and I started the Twilight series. And I love them! But as a Christian, of course, I have to examine why I love them, and whether that's even OK. So here are my thoughts on the books so far, mostly off the top of my head even now as I sit down and write.* First of all, like I said, I am enjoying them so much. In fact, they are bringing out the possessive/obsessive side in me, that only certain books/movies/tv shows do bring out. So much so that I have to take a several week break between each book because otherwise all my free time goes to reading, and all my non-free time goes to thinking (i.e. obsessing) about the story and the characters. And that I do not think is healthy. But like I said, that is not exclusive to the Twilight books, and therefore not an inherent problem with the series.
Another possible problem I have with them is related, in that I get so swept up, I begin to see my own life as boring and mundane. But again, this is a problem with being a hopeless romantic, and not a problem with these particular books.
My mom read the first book as well, and I think she actually did enjoy the story, though she didn't finish the whole series. Her problem with the whole vampire/werewolf story lines is that it is focusing too much on the "darkness", and not on the "light". It makes women, and young girls in particular (the intended audience), yearn for something dark, perhaps even evil; something that is clearly not good for them. I can see this point as well, and is probably why I would not let my young teenage daughter read them. The Bible is very clear about that which we should allow our minds to rest. Perhaps that's why I give myself a break in between them, because I do get so obsess-y about them, and I don't want my mind to linger there too long.
I'm sure there is a whole long list of other reasons why many Christians don't care for these books and think they shouldn't be read, but for the most part, I've touched on the ones that are the most important to me. That being said, I don't think any of these reasons is enough to keep me from finishing books three and four! And by the way, I'm Team Jacob.
*This is completely off the top of my head because I just realized it was an hour before my bedtime on November 30, and I hadn't written anything this month! So I do apologize for the unthought-out nature of this post! Also, the title of this post is in reference to the Justin Long quote on Twilight.
Balancing Mary and Martha
My life since college has been Martha. I take pride in how my house looks for guests and the nice meals that I serve them. I like to put special touches on everything I do to let the houseguest know they are important to me. I prepare ahead of time, and much of the time they are here, to make sure they have a pleasant stay. If I had a sister like Mary, I think I would feel resentful of her, thinking "Doesn't she think I want to just sit around with our guest, too? But someone has to put the meal on the table!" (If you're unfamiliar to the story to which I refer, read it here.) Now suddenly have this amazing little person in my life (Pardon the comparison to Jesus, I certainly don't mean to be blasphemous!), who needs nearly constant attention. She changes every day by developing new skills, continually enthralling me. I love to sit with her and watch what new thing she can do. I take pictures like crazy so I never forget what it feels like in that particular moment. I just want to be Mary and the Martha in me gets thrown out the window.
Unfortunately, along with the Martha in me, a clean house, clean clothes, healthy, home-cooked meals all get thrown out the window as well. A part of me says, "Well, it's OK because a baby does need nearly constant care!" It's good to spend so much time with her, investing in our relationship and in her life. But then I have to remind myself that it's also OK to let her have some alone play time in her jumper, her playpen, or watching a little Baby Einstein!
So now my life is a balancing act between Mary and Martha, and I haven't quite mastered it. (And sometimes I want to be neither and just flounce in front of the TV and rest! And that's OK, too.) But I will continue to try.
Scariest Moments
With Halloween fast approaching, and today being a dreary, maybe even spooky, day, I have been remembering those times in my life when I've been so "eeeek" scared. (I say "eeeek" scared because, as we all know, there's different kinds of scared, just like there's different types of fears. There's the "what's that weird looking mole on my leg?" type of scared, and then there's the "eeeek" kind of scared.) It doesn't happen often, because I don't like to watch scary movies, and thankfully, that kind of scared doesn't happen very often in real life! So here are the few moments that come to mind. Years ago, when I was babysitting in a home with a large picture window facing the woods, I received a phone call while the little girl was watching TV. "I can see you," a deep voice said. "I'm watching you." I hung up immediately and calmly called the child to come to me and get away from the window, but inside I was frantic! Was someone really out that window watching us? Would they try to get in? I called my parents immediately and before I could tell them what happened, they told me a friend of mine had just called and they gave had given him my phone number there. So we figured out it was just the friend playing a "joke". And what a horrible joke it was! Obviously, it scared me to death!
Once, when we were in India, we were staying in a "guest house", which was a main floor apartment. It wasn't completely decorated, but there were enough furnishings to get by on for a little while. The curtains were very simple, but there was still a lot of space around the edges that you could see out (and in). One night, Ryan and I were drifting to sleep, and I glanced towards the window, and there was a dark shape outside. When my eyes were finally able to focus, I realized it was a man staring in at us! I shouted out, and must have scared the man away, because he left before Ryan had a chance to see him. But from that moment on, we draped sheets over the edges of the curtains while we were staying there!
So that's two "eeeek" scary moments. There are a couple more, and I might share them, I might not. For now, I'm curious about your scary moments! What better time to relive them than on a cloudy, dreary, October day?
Introducing Audrey to October
Audrey
Having been born in February, Audrey has never met October before, so today I took the opportunity to introduce her to my favorite month. We stood outside and I explained that whooshing sound was the drying leaves scattering in the cooler breeze. I explained the clouds in the sky gave the month a feeling of mystery and suspense. The cooler weather makes you want to bundle up in warm blankets in a cozy house. I also told her about the coming holidays that October always alludes to and heightens my sense of anticipation. She's never experienced Thanksgiving or Christmas, the two best holidays of the year. When you are with the people you love most in the world, when daddy gets over a week off work, when you decorate the house with beautiful lights and ornaments, when you open presents and feel that rush of excitement upon receiving one, and giving one, when we celebrate the most Wonderful Present of all time. She doesn't understand it all right now, but it makes me even more excited about things to come. My favorite month always brings that anticipation, and that's why I love it so much. And having a child to share it with this year makes it exponentially better.
Randomness. Don't even read it. It's not worth your time.
OK, I admit it. It's September 28 and I'm only posting today because I haven't posted since August 2 (and that one was pretty light on content). So I apologize in advance for a post that's written without a topic in mind. Plus, Audrey is upstairs waking up from her nap, so there isn't even much time to write, which I guess is fine because I don't have anything to write about! My resolutions have all been met except for one, and that one I've given up on. I've surpassed my number of books because I have become addicted to the Wheel of Time series. In fact, as I told Ryan the other day, I like them better than Harry Potter and LOTR combined, and that is saying something! I'm almost done with book six, and am excited that I still have seven more to go! I'm hoping to finish them all before the final book comes out next year. I find that my favorite parts are when "nothing" is happening. One of the reasons I love the books so much is exactly the reason I see so many people complaining about them: that they drag on and on and not much happens. I love that.
The resolution I've given up on is the Couch-2-5k program. It's practically impossible with a baby in the house! We don't have a jogging stroller, and it's too hot to run outside anyway. The treadmill is in our buggy basement, and apparently it is so loud when I run on it that I wake up Audrey from her naps! So I've started just walking outside, or using our Wii (which can give a surprisingly good workout!).
I read an article yesterday about how the most prevalent lie in our culture is that parents tell their children they don't have a favorite child. I was able to talk to my mom about it because as it happens, I'm the favorite. She says that parents love all their children the same, but may relate to one better than the others. I can see how that would be the case, but it also makes me worry about having another child. How could I possibly love another baby as much as I love Audrey?
I have switched from the two spaces between sentences to the one space. I'm not sure what made me change. I know that's how Ryan does it, and he insists it's more correct. I think I just got too lazy to put in that extra space all the time.
My things-to-do list continues to evolve. I have split my daily list into two lists: "Musts for everyday" and "Musts for days I'm home". There are just some things I cannot get done on days when I'm away from home. But there are some things I have to do everyday. It seems to be working well for me. I have also split my general list into two lists: "Things to do soon" and "Things to do eventually". The eventually list I hardly ever look at, but I still want to remember should be done.
On my list of things-to-do is a list of blog post ideas that I've been meaning to write. Some of them I want to do, but know in order to do them right, they will take a lot of time. We'll see if I ever get to them. I hope so. I had another great idea for a blog post, but never wrote it down, so I can't remember what it was! It will probably never get written now, which makes me sad. It would have been amazing. In fact, let's pretend I wrote that one instead of this one and you have been sufficiently amazed and fulfilled by reading that post.
It was as good as I said it would be, right?
My Things-To-Do List
As you may know, I love lists. I've written a lot about my lists: my Fear list, my Summer Reading list, my hot blog post lists, my books read lists, and a bunch of random lists! And even that previous sentence was just a list of lists that I've posted on this blog... So today I thought I'd write about my most used list: my Things-to-do list. I'm sure we all have them, but mine is especially complex, and it's taken years to perfect, so that's why it deserves its own post. First of all, it is divided into two separate documents. One is an overall list of repeating tasks, separated into daily, weekly, and monthly lists. The second document is one that I re-write every week, and it is separated into daily, weekly, and general lists. Every week, I copy over the daily and weekly lists from document 1 into document 2. Then I choose one or two items from my monthly list and add them to my general list.
The second document (the one I write every week) is prioritized like so: The first priority of every day is my daughter and attending to her needs. (I don't have to write that one down!) The second priority is my daily list. This includes dishes (they add up so fast otherwise!), my devotions, and making the bed (among other things). If I can get all my daily chores done in a day, then I can feel good about that day. The last priorities are the weekly chores and general tasks. The general tasks are ones that do not need repeating, like making a doctor's appointment or painting the bathroom. Each night before bed, I highlight what I'd like to get done the next day from my weekly and general lists. If I can get all those things done, plus my daily list, then I can feel really good about that day! (That's very rare, I tend to be overly optimistic about the amount of time and energy that I'll have.)
Have I sufficiently confused you? Let me assure you, that if you love lists, and find yourself writing a new things-to-do list every night before bed, you need to start using this system! I have found it highly effective, especially since my daughter was born and I found that on many days, it was hard to get anything done!
So that is my things-to-do list. I'm sure I'll come up with more lists for future posts, but this one needed to be shared so you could be witness to how far my love of lists has come since my very first project post on this blog.
Our Senses
There is nothing I like better than a delicious chocolate dessert paired with a good cappuccino. Clearly I have always loved chocolate, but I don't think I could even fully appreciate it before I started to like coffee! The bitter coffee taste is so complimentary to the sweet chocolate, and vice versa. My mouth is watering just thinking about it! The other day, when partaking in the aforementioned duo, I mentioned to my husband, "Wasn't God good to give us the coffee and chocolate beans? And have them work together to be so heavenly on our tongue?" OK, I don't think I said it quite that nicely, probably because I was too busy chowing down! But he got the point.
That got me thinking about our sense of taste and what a gift it is from God. Food certainly didn't need to taste good to give us sustenance. There didn't need to be hundreds, perhaps thousands, of different flavors for us to enjoy. And on top of that, He made it so we can appreciate different combinations of those flavors, like my chocolate and coffee!
And it doesn't end there: Every time I look at my daughter's face when she's fallen asleep in my arms, every time I see the trees swaying lightly against the blue sky, every time I hear the rain falling outside or a beautiful piece of music that gives me goosebumps, every time my husband holds me in his arms, every time I smell a pine tree and think of Christmas, these moments are gifts from God. Our senses could have simply been given to be purely utilitarian. But instead, God chose to give us countless ways to make them come alive!
In no way is this an original concept, but I'm not sure you can truly grasp what I'm saying until you've had a moment where you realize what you are experiencing is one of God's gifts to you in this life. And my moment recently was simply sipping a cappuccino and tasting some sweet chocolate.
My Life Verse
If you follow my Twitter account, you will have seen that I finished Anne of Green Gables recently (thanks to Kindle's new "share" feature). It is a sweet book, and one that I always loved when I was little. I especially loved it because I really related to Anne and her wild imagination. And in reading it as an adult, I found that I still do! In one part in particular, Anne let her imagination run away with her and found herself scared of what she had imagined. She, fortunately, learned her lesson and decided not to imagine scary things anymore. I, unfortunately, have never learned that lesson. On any given day, whether I am faced with something sad or not, I find my imagination turning down dark alleys and scaring me, often to the point of tears! It's perhaps why one of my closest friends calls me "morbid".
I have recently decided on my life verses (Philippians 4:6-8) and I say them to myself when I have let my imagination run away with me, and I find myself worrying. It's something I struggle with daily, but just saying the verses to myself gets me back on the road to peace.
It also occurred to me just today (which is why I am writing this post) that Philippians 4:8 tells us the type of things on which our minds should dwell, starting with truth. I think that part was added just for me. We are told not to dwell on things that are not real, but rather on what is. I must remember that as I find my mind wandering into untruth.
So, like Anne, I will try to conquer this unhealthy aspect of my imagination, so I don't find myself scared anymore. I wish Anne had explained how she did it so easily! But I think I have found the key, and it lies in Philippians 4:6-8:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Harry's Mistake
Originally, this post was supposed to be a simple one, just about my thoughts as I was listening to HP last night. As I was writing, however, it became an in-depth analysis of cause and effect! It is a sad fact that in order for me to fall asleep at night, I need to be listening to one of my books on tape. And for me "books on tape" means listening to my Harry Potter CDs. I am currently in the middle of Book 4 (my favorite): Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. And it occurred to me last night that Harry makes a small mistake with huge consequences! Here's the situation...
Harry is on his way back to the Gryfindor dormitory late one night after spending a few hours in the prefect's bathroom to figure out his egg clue for the second task. He checks his Marauder's Map to make sure the coast is clear, but sees something fishy: Bartemious Crouch is in Professor Snape's office! Harry wonders what he is doing there because he is supposedly too unwell to work or come to any of the tournament events! His curiosity overtakes him, and he decides to make his way to Snape's office to check it out. Unfortunately, he doesn't pay attention to what he is doing and he puts his foot onto the trick step and is caught. He drops his egg (and his map!), which causes a commotion and brings Snape and Filch to the scene. Harry, while under his invisibility cloak, tries to reach the map with his wand to wipe it clean, but can't reach it from where he stands. Eventually "Moody" joins as well, and he can see Harry due to his magical eye. "Moody" sees the map on the step and points to it, mistakenly believing it to be Snape's, at which point Harry is able to sign to "Moody" to not let Snape pick it up. "Moody" uses a summoning charm and he gets a hold of the map instead. Harry does not get it back.
Do you see Harry's mistake? I even added the emphasis to help! If Harry had only used a summoning charm, instead of just trying to wipe the map clean, the whole course of the books would have changed! We know that he can perform a summoning charm, as he had just used one very successfully in the first task. He wouldn't have had to worry about anyone hearing him whisper the spell yet, as Filch had not yet arrived, and the egg was still wailing away anyway!
If Harry had used a summoning charm, grabbed the map, and been able to see it under his cloak while Filch and Snape were talking, he would have seen that the "Moody" who arrives at the scene, was not Moody at all! It was actually Bartemious Crouch. He would have been puzzled, sure, but he would not have known at this point that it was actually Barty Crouch, Jr. He could have pointed it out on the spot to Snape and Filch, but he probably would have waited to discuss it with Ron and Hermione, or even Dumbledore. In which case, the imposter Moody would have been caught long before he was ever able to send Harry to Voldemort. Cedric would never have died, and Voldemort could never have used Harry's blood to come back!
It all sounds very good, but perhaps it wasn't a mistake after all. If Voldemort could not have used Harry's blood to come back, he would have found another "enemy's" blood to use (as Wormtail had suggested). Harry would never have been able to tell Dumbledore in all certainty that Voldemort was back, and Dumbledore would not have restarted the Order of the Pheonix. Additionally, Voldemort would not have Harry's blood running through his veins, so in the very end, when Harry gives up his life, he would have been gone for good!
So at first, I really did believe that Harry made a fatal error in not using a summoning charm to retrieve his Marauder's Map. But after a closer analysis, we can see that perhaps it was all for the best! It saved Harry's life, leading to him being able to take down Voldemort once and for all.
All from one moment when Harry didn't use a spell.
I am sure if we examined it further, we could continue to trace out more and more effects from Harry's one action (or inaction). But at this point, I think I'm done with it all!
The First Five Weeks
We have had an eventful few weeks here, and not just the ordinary busy-ness of taking care of a newborn! In order to catch you up on things, I will provide a brief update, week by week (and keep in mind, this is all on almost no sleep!). Week 1 (of Audrey's life): Audrey has high bilirubin levels, so we visit Pediatrician daily to get her heel pricked for blood tests. Levels continue to rise, so we are ordered off breast milk and onto formula for 3 days. I pump 10x per day to build up my supply.
Week 2: Levels decline a bit, so we go back to breast milk. Difficult transition from bottle and Audrey loses weight. Pediatrician is worried about weight loss and hears a heart murmur. Sends us to Pediatric Cardiologist and hospital for special blood work to see if she has a metabolic disorder. Pediatric Cardiologist finds two congenital heart defects that will need to be monitored (and fixed, if not healed by one-year). All blood work comes back normal, so we continue almost daily Pediatrician visits to monitor weight gain.
Week 3: Audrey gains weight, but not enough. Agree to visit Lactation Consultant. Ryan's parents come to visit.
Week 4: I have horrible stomach pains and visit emergency room. Have "a lot of gallstones" and will need surgery immediately, but won't be able to breastfeed for a month. I ask to delay surgery so I can pump to build up enough milk to last that month.
Ryan comes home with 103 degree fever. I quarantine him to guest room so he can't infect me or Audrey.
Speak to lactation consultant, who says breastfeeding won't need to be delayed a whole month, and probably none at all, besides recovery time. I am in a lot of pain and wish I had gotten surgery right away.
Audrey continues to gain, but still not enough.
Week 5: Ryan begins to feel better.
I have an appointment to meet with surgeon. Audrey has appointment with Pediatrician(6 week check-up). We both have appointment with lactation consultant. I have appointment with obstetrician (6 week check-up).
We'll see how things go!
Through it all, I have felt so thankful for all the blessings in our lives: for the kind medical professionals we have encountered along the way, especially at St. Vincent's hospital; for the lactation consultants, and even for Audrey's weight loss that led me to them in the first place, so that they could help me deal with breastfeeding and surgery (otherwise, I wouldn't have nursed for a month!); for everyone's kind help and prayers; and most of all, for our parents, who have helped cook and clean and watch Audrey as we deal with our own health issues! I feel like I have seen God's Providence at work in the midst of all this and can only praise him for taking care of us even when things feel overwhelming.
"The Lord is my strength." Psalm 28:7