Joy and Grief

I’m beginning to realize that joy has a lot to do with attention. There’s an invitation in Philippians to think about what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Not as a way of ignoring reality, but as a way of anchoring ourselves in what is still good and still real. And I think that’s where joy grows. Not because hard things suddenly disappear, but because they stop being the only thing filling our vision.

There is still a kind of choosing involved, but not in the sense of “I will force myself to feel joyful.” It’s more like: I will stay open to goodness and beauty and will keep returning my attention to what is true.

And at the same time, I’m learning that joy isn’t something I manufacture by sheer effort. Scripture calls it a fruit of the Holy Spirit, which means it grows from connection to God, not just our human determination. That matters, because there are seasons when joy feels far away, especially when life is exhausting or grief is heavy or for some reason we feel numb. In those moments, it’s easy to assume something is wrong with us spiritually.

But I don’t think the absence of strong feelings means the absence of joy. Sometimes joy looks less like exuberance and more like allowing ourselves to stay soft to the Spirit, even when it would be easier to harden ourselves.

Joy and grief are not opposites competing for space. Joy doesn’t ignore grief, but it does refuse to let grief define everything.

If you’re looking for practical, everyday ways to actually make space for joy, I wrote more about that here. (link to Post 1)

But underneath all of it, this is what I’m holding onto: I can’t force joy to appear, but I can make space for it, surrendering to the work of the Holy Spirit. I can pay attention to what is still good and true and I can trust that even small moments of joy are worth noticing.