How to Steal a Car in India

1. Call your driver's company and ask for a car for the day.  (This will help you if you need to claim innocence later.)2. When the company says the car will be there in 5-10 minutes, go down to the garage and wait.  The car will not be there for a good 30 minutes, so you have time to scope out the car to steal. 3. Once you have your mark, wave to the driver and just get in. 4. Go out to lunch, run your usual errands, then return to the scene of the "crime". 5. If you run into trouble (for example: you see your neighbor shaking her fist at your car and yelling at the driver) simply point out that you had ordered a car for the day and had mistaken it for this one.  She will not be angry at you. 6. Simply smile, apologize, and go about your merry way.

True story.