February has become a wonderful month for me, as last year it brought the birth of our daughter, and this year was the celebration of her first year. But along with that, and maybe because of that, I seem to neglect my blog in that month. So, for the first time in 5 or so years (last year I let myself pre-date a blog post due to the circumstances, but I don't think I have an excuse for that this year), I missed a month on this blog. I am ashamed that I let it get away from me, especially when all I really needed to do was post the following adorable picture and all would have been OK.
My last several weeks have been all consumed with the house hunt. It has been tiring and endless. Although, if we weren't on a deadline, I might actually enjoy myself. But we are on a deadline so I'm just stressed. And what do I do when I'm stressed? I eat. And what do I eat? Chocolate. And what was the original point of this blog? The answer is here, but you should already know it! And so, to accomplish the original point of this blog, here I am writing a post on my frustrations instead of grabbing some M&Ms (which I'll probably do afterward anyway). The first house we put a bid on, we were very hopeful. It had been on the market for a while, was very beautiful, and was actually in our price range! But we soon discovered the owners had been somewhat dishonest. They had already accepted a bid and signed all the contracts a week or so earlier! And yet the listing was still active. This, as I have now learned, is a no-no in the real estate game.
The next house was a sweet little cape, and as much as I tried to keep my hopes from rising, they did anyway. But our bid was rejected and we found out later the same day that the owners received another bid and accepted it.
So here we are back at square one and feeling a little jaded. So why would I possibly enjoy myself if we weren't on a deadline? Other than the emotional ups-and-downs of the bid war, going into people's houses and examining every nook and cranny is kinda fun! It's amazing all you can learn about people from digging through their closets! (No, I don't dig around... I just look...)
Tomorrow we go out looking again. We are running out of neighboring towns to look in! But for now, I'm going to grab a handful of M&Ms.
I am still not used to the power outages here. In the beginning, they were few and far between and only lasted several seconds to a minute. But as the weather has gotten hotter and hotter, the power has been going out more and more. For a while it was predictable; it went out at 12pm and would come back around 1:15 or so. Then it started going out at 11am and lasting until around 12:30pm. These times were quite inconvenient as it was right when I would be making lunch for Ryan and I before he headed out to work. However, at least they were predictable, as I said. Now the power has stopped going out around lunch time, but it goes off for several hours interspersed throughout the day. This is more difficult because you never know when it is coming. Several of the newer apartment buildings will have full back-up power, but ours does not. We knew that going in, but if you will recall, I fell in love with this place the moment I saw it and would not be dissuaded. The power seems to be connected with the heat and lessening of the water supply. We moved here right in the middle of monsoon season (July through September), and apparently that was the reason the power outages were so few at that point. I do not have any source to back up this claim, however. It's more of my own observation.
I am currently writing this post in the midst of a power outage (we have a UPS-Unlimited Power Supply, basically a battery-for my computer) because I was at a loss as to what else to do. I had been working through my Google Reader, but without power, we also lose internet. So I worked on the dishes, straightened up the place, read a little, and began to feel frustrated and hot (no a/c!). Hence the post.
There's a guy here. I call him "The Swearer". He swears every time he picks something up from the color printer (which as you all know is right by my desk). He swears every 15 minutes or so while just sitting at his computer. He's not very creative either; it's always the same two words. At first, I didn't mind it. Then it started happening more and I got annoyed (does he not know I can hear him?!). Then it began happening a lot and it started to be funny, because it's just so ridiculous (I'm sure everyone can hear him!). Now my friend, who I chat with while at work, knows about him too. I put a * into our conversations whenever I hear him so she knows how frequent it is. And we get a good laugh. Maybe I'll tell you about other people who work here someday too. I have names for all of them. There's Crazy and The Pooper and many, many more. We have some real weirdos here.
So don't ask me! I don't know where your pages are. I don't know why its lights are flashing. I didn't use up the entire color cartridge. No, I didn't take any printouts that weren't mine. I don't know if it has a personal vendetta against you, but I will say that everyone else handles it just fine! Just because I sit right next to the thing, doesn't mean I care about what all comes out of it. Unless it starts spewing lava and I have to run for my life for fear of turning into a molten statue, stop bothering me about it!
Here it is July and I have no new posts! I know what you're thinking: You hope that this lack of posting isn't a sign of the progress with my other resolutions. Well, guess what? It is! I, like most people, am failing on my resolutions. On the up side, I'm probably one of the few people still trying to make my resolutions work.
Those of you who are my very faithful readers will know that I like to make lists. Well, in order to enlighten you further about the events that have transpired in the past several minutes, I need to share my lists of fears. Yes, that's "lists" - plural. My first list of fears includes what I call the "serious" fears (by no means to imply my second list is not serious). They typically include a family member dying or developing a fatal disease, or me crashing to my doom while I'm alone on an airplane or developing schitzophrenia (I'm at a Psychiatry convention... I just added that to my list today). The second list of fears is mostly a list of "beasts". It is the latter of the two on which I will elaborate. List of Fears II
- spiders - any kind: small or big, black or brown, crawly or (heaven forbid) furry
- somehow a spider entering my mouth (Thank you to all of you who have found this funny and spouted the statistic that we all eat at least three spiders a year in our sleep. I blame you if I ever die of a cold for fear of just opening my mouth to breathe when sleeping.)
- roaches - blech, I cannot even continue... starting to feel crawly
- spider on any part of my skin
- having a child wake me up from my sleep (thanks to the movie "Identity")
- split personality disorder
- Ray Liotta
- small pieces of dust floating through the air (you'll see...)
OK, that's enough for now, you get the idea... Unfortunately, if I think about it long enough, I could go on. However, since I'm sleeping alone in a hotel room tonight, and then flying out tomorrow, I should probably rest my mind on happier things. But first, two stories.
Sweet sleep was overtaking me. The light from the TV was bright in the surrounding darkness of my bedroom. My eyes closed dreamily, only half watching through slits. But then, something twitched. Oh, it was so tiny, barely visible. I never would have seen it had it not been for the reflection of the light. It was suspended, as if floating in mid-air. In a flash I was awake and sprang towards the light. It had been a long time since I had done my nightly spider checks. But now I wished I had continued them because as I glanced around my room, tiny spiders were hanging from every square foot of my ceiling. It was my worst nightmare. Except I was actually awake. The next minutes are a blur. I suspect that I somehow made my retreat and went to get back up (that would be my dad, who should be on my list of "beasts" when he's woken up in the middle of the night). I remember being laughed at for being afraid of little tiny spiders. But they were hanging! From my ceiling! Possibly getting into my hair! And what if I had opened my mouth!? I cleaned for the next several days. And I wouldn't even enter my room without the Swiffer. I would extend it out in front of me and wave it through the air. The theory here is that if there are any spiders floating on their invisible webs, the would get on the Swiffer instead of anywhere on my body. I remember "sleeping" with the light at the opposite end of the room on, and watching their small bodies congregate around it. This is an absolutely horrible memory for me... and what's worse is the mirth it seems to cause! There is nothing funny about being trapped in a room with spiders falling from the ceiling. See fear #1 on list II: it does not matter if they are small.
And tonight, after spending a lovely evening with a colleague, I arrived back to my hotel room, ready to jump into bed. But what's that? There's a small spot on one of the pillow cases. It's not... can it be? Yes! And there's another one, right next to it! Am I reliving a horrible nightmare? As far as I can tell at this point, the answer is "no", but only time will tell. So, after pouring water onto the bed from a great distance in an effort to drown the beasts, and then having to squash them anyway since apparently drowning doesn't work, I am now off to a wet, and hopefully no longer spider-infested, bed.
Well, I promised more posts... but more posts you aren't going to get. At least not right now. Turns out, I had to rush out to San Diego! So now I'm on the opposite coast, working from 9am to 9pm every day, and I'm exhausted. So feel bad for me. Oh, and it's my one year anniversary. And I'm in San Diego. And Ryan isn't. Plus it's cloudy and cold. Can't you just hear the violin?
Chocolate, that is. Today is just such a blah day. Not quite emotionless, however. I don't think I've ever been at that point. There's always an emotion, lurking in the corner, about to spring out and surprise me with a bout tears or delight. (This is something Ryan does not understand. Emotions can be controlled. If it doesn't make sense to feel this way, then I shouldn't. A must always follow B. But he doesn't understand that after B comes C, so if I jump from A to C, that's OK in the logic of math. Or even if I feel like freakin' Z because of A, that's OK too. If you don't follow, don't worry. I'm not sure if I'm making sense. Read this in my other blog.)
I have felt like crying today, though. My car practically broke down on me. I'm so tired of working. My head has been hurting. A lot of what I'm feeling, however, I'm sure is because I feel like I'm floating instead of swimming. I want to go somewhere, but I'm going no where. I wrote to some of the wonderful women in my family: This week I'm down, but next week will probably be the greatest week of my life. That's what an emotional roller-coaster I'm always on... Poor Ryan.
uggg... I just thought of another project: I have to plan my 5-year high school reunion. Honestly, I'm torn about this one. I'm glad that I can be a part of planning this (I really do enjoy planning events) and bringing these people together (for the most part, I enjoyed my high school experience). But on the other hand, being with all those people that I haven't seen since then, will, I'm sure, bring me be back to who I was at that time. I'm a different person now - and I know I am not the only one. We've all changed, but most of us won't recognize that everyone else has changed as well. We, each of us, will think we are the only one. Do people really like to go to reunions? We go to this social event, expecting to show others how much we've changed and how far we've come, and we just get put back into our social box - the same one we lived in for all those years at school. Two of my favorite shows explore this idea: Everybody Loves Raymond and Frasier. Raymond and Frasier both dread going to their perspective reunions. Somehow they are forced to go and end up having a horrible time: Raymond watches the purses as his wife dances with the "cool people" and Frasier ends up at table 99, singing with the "Chessmates".
Maybe I'm just being a cynic and mine will be a wonderful time. In fact, I truly do believe it probably will be. I just don't look forward to these things. Anyway, I'll let you know when it's over - it's still a couple months away. I just wanted to get it on record that this is something else I should be working on. I'm tired.